Across the desert, the sun scorched sand, still we push on, not knowing what lies ahead, we'll make our stand. Come storm or scouring wind, come what fate may bring, we'll face it all, through all the changes of the cold wind, come trials and suffering, the bells of perseverance will ring. Let it ring, let it ring, and let the voices of the determined sing
Monday, December 27, 2010
Monday, October 25, 2010
Happy Birthday
So, its your birthday today. How do you feel?
Well, for starters, I'm really thankful for awesome friends, who care enough to sing me a song and wish me, and some even to the extent of surprising me in Midvalley. Really touched by these awesome people who have been such a blessing to my life. On this day, as they celebrate my birthday with me, I want to celebrate as well. Celebrate them, the awesome people that have made life all that more worth living.
I would also love to celebrate God, for His love in my life. For all He's done. For all the time He's given me so far. I love You Jesus, and may whatever days I have left celebrate Your extraordinary love for this world.
Today, on my brithday, I choose to ignore the pains and hurts that are trying to disrupt me. I choose life, and to celebrate it.
Happy Birthday You. God bless.
I would also love to celebrate God, for His love in my life. For all He's done. For all the time He's given me so far. I love You Jesus, and may whatever days I have left celebrate Your extraordinary love for this world.
Today, on my brithday, I choose to ignore the pains and hurts that are trying to disrupt me. I choose life, and to celebrate it.
Happy Birthday You. God bless.
Friday, October 8, 2010
I'm fine....really...
Like duh...you're so obviously not.....and you see the stares telling you that too...the kind of "what is wrong with you today la? and don't tell me you're fine...I'm not falling for that..." stare. Yes, I'm not fine. How? What to do? Not as though there's a whole lot I can do bout it. Sometimes I really hate feeling like this. I just want to be able to sit there content and smiling, to laugh with people, and to just enjoy the fun and hype with friends...especially with hype ppl like the CFers...but its not always an option open to me. So many things on my mind right now. Sigh. What to do....If only I could forget everything I want to forget, and ignore everything I want to ignore.
I need You, more than words can say.
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Thank You God!!!
It's only been three hours or so since the end of CF Retreat 2010 and I miss it already. After months of preparation and stressing and running about and chasing people/stuff its finally over. Sigh. Wish it could all happen again. Was worth it. Was so awesome the way God moved in my own life in that camp and I hope in the lives of the other campers as well.
God, thanks again for this wonderful experience, from the start of planning down to the end of the execution of the camp and its activities. Help me to continue to learn to be still, and know You are God, exalted above the nations, exalted above the heavens.
God, thanks again for this wonderful experience, from the start of planning down to the end of the execution of the camp and its activities. Help me to continue to learn to be still, and know You are God, exalted above the nations, exalted above the heavens.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
To: My child
My dearest child,
The day you were born, my face was aglow,
A blessing you are, of this I know,
As I held you in my arms,my heart was content,
Yet your innocence beared an ominous portent,
For I knew the trials arrayed against you,
I foresaw the tribulations you would go through,
Of hurts and pains,
Of sufferings,
The problems you will face,
The bitterness you will taste,
Of relationships turned wrong, or being turned away,
Of the dangers of temptations, and being led astray,
I knew you would explore the world around you,
But worried if you would dabble, in things dangerous too,
Of the powers of this world.
And the evil trapped within,
And the overwhelming power,
Of the darkness that is sin,
I worried for your future,
In a world deprived of honour,
Would you stand up tall,
Or would you crumble and fall?
Yet there was a cause for joy,
For I also saw, the things you would enjoy,
All your aspirations and your dreams,
And all the sweetness that it brings,
All the things you would overcome,
And the champion I know you could become,
Know, my child should otherwise be said,
That life is not about how much you're paid,
Nor is it about wealth and power,
Nor even fame for that matter,
Grow to be a man of honour,
Grow up pure, my precious daughter,
Maintain your values, keep them well,
Whatever beholds, only time will tell,
One thing is assured,
Should you honour God,
When your life is measured,
It will be worth a whole lot,
My dearest child,
As you grow up now, may you grow up tall,
And remember these words once and for all,
That on those days that you should fall,
Your Father is there, if you but call,
As you begin your life's very first mile,
And seemingly without a single clue,
Remember this my dearest child,
That I, your Father, will always love you.
The day you were born, my face was aglow,
A blessing you are, of this I know,
As I held you in my arms,my heart was content,
Yet your innocence beared an ominous portent,
For I knew the trials arrayed against you,
I foresaw the tribulations you would go through,
Of hurts and pains,
Of sufferings,
The problems you will face,
The bitterness you will taste,
Of relationships turned wrong, or being turned away,
Of the dangers of temptations, and being led astray,
I knew you would explore the world around you,
But worried if you would dabble, in things dangerous too,
Of the powers of this world.
And the evil trapped within,
And the overwhelming power,
Of the darkness that is sin,
I worried for your future,
In a world deprived of honour,
Would you stand up tall,
Or would you crumble and fall?
Yet there was a cause for joy,
For I also saw, the things you would enjoy,
All your aspirations and your dreams,
And all the sweetness that it brings,
All the things you would overcome,
And the champion I know you could become,
Know, my child should otherwise be said,
That life is not about how much you're paid,
Nor is it about wealth and power,
Nor even fame for that matter,
Grow to be a man of honour,
Grow up pure, my precious daughter,
Maintain your values, keep them well,
Whatever beholds, only time will tell,
One thing is assured,
Should you honour God,
When your life is measured,
It will be worth a whole lot,
My dearest child,
As you grow up now, may you grow up tall,
And remember these words once and for all,
That on those days that you should fall,
Your Father is there, if you but call,
As you begin your life's very first mile,
And seemingly without a single clue,
Remember this my dearest child,
That I, your Father, will always love you.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Able
I twist and I turn,
On the inside I churn,
Fear and worry,
They torment me,
Of sleepless nights and cold sweat,
Oh the amount of those I have had,
Feeling the circumstances piled before,
And the consequences dire if I should fall,
A leader it would seem,
Is a hard thing to be,
Rather would I have been,
An ordinary guy, just me,
Burdens placed on shoulders not wide enough,
Bending a back not at all that tough,
Walking a tightrope of uncertainty,
Walking that tightrope blindly,
"What can I do?"
My desperate cry,
I need some help,
That I can't deny,
Apathy strikes,
Its claws digging in,
Regret follows,
Of what could have been,
Desperately I look,
And no one was there,
To reassure,
My burden to share,
Realisation dawns,
I've looked the wrong way,
When all things seemed lost,
My vision too, went astray,
A song plays,
Its melody familiar,
The words reminding me always,
Of a God who calms all fear,
I know my God is able,
I know my God never fails,
I know my God is able,
He knows me through,
He knows me true,
He knows the fear I have,
He knows my worries too,
When my strength begins to fade,
When I lack confidence,
He teaches me to have faith,
In His divine providence,
I trust in You with all I am,
Coz I know You have the master plan,
So I'll throw my life into Your hands,
For Your glory, For Your glory,
I step forward into the fray,
My faith placed in Him alone,
I know my trust He will not betray,
For He is my solid stone,
Trust in Him all you people,
Even in the midst of situations terrible,
Take heart in the midst of your trouble,
For it is then that you will know,
Your God is able,
The strength of youth will fade away,
And the pride of achievements lead you astray,
Perseverance itself might crumble and fall,
But my God is above them all,
Things may change like the turn of a table,
When it seems that I may be making a gamble,
In moments like these when I feel unstable,
I look to You and I know,
My God is able.
On the inside I churn,
Fear and worry,
They torment me,
Of sleepless nights and cold sweat,
Oh the amount of those I have had,
Feeling the circumstances piled before,
And the consequences dire if I should fall,
A leader it would seem,
Is a hard thing to be,
Rather would I have been,
An ordinary guy, just me,
Burdens placed on shoulders not wide enough,
Bending a back not at all that tough,
Walking a tightrope of uncertainty,
Walking that tightrope blindly,
"What can I do?"
My desperate cry,
I need some help,
That I can't deny,
Apathy strikes,
Its claws digging in,
Regret follows,
Of what could have been,
Desperately I look,
And no one was there,
To reassure,
My burden to share,
Realisation dawns,
I've looked the wrong way,
When all things seemed lost,
My vision too, went astray,
A song plays,
Its melody familiar,
The words reminding me always,
Of a God who calms all fear,
I know my God is able,
I know my God never fails,
I know my God is able,
He knows me through,
He knows me true,
He knows the fear I have,
He knows my worries too,
When my strength begins to fade,
When I lack confidence,
He teaches me to have faith,
In His divine providence,
I trust in You with all I am,
Coz I know You have the master plan,
So I'll throw my life into Your hands,
For Your glory, For Your glory,
I step forward into the fray,
My faith placed in Him alone,
I know my trust He will not betray,
For He is my solid stone,
Trust in Him all you people,
Even in the midst of situations terrible,
Take heart in the midst of your trouble,
For it is then that you will know,
Your God is able,
The strength of youth will fade away,
And the pride of achievements lead you astray,
Perseverance itself might crumble and fall,
But my God is above them all,
Things may change like the turn of a table,
When it seems that I may be making a gamble,
In moments like these when I feel unstable,
I look to You and I know,
My God is able.
*Italics from God is Able by Planetshakers*
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Take A Closer Look At Me
People say first impressions are everything,
That what you see if what you get,
So if you dress like a pauper or you dress like a king,
You either live with pride or regret,
Not so I say,
It shouldn't be this way,
To judge a man by his looks,
Would be like vindicating crooks,
Take a look at me,
What do you see?
A face of freckles,
A large pair of spectacles,
A too-big nose and a crooked smile,
Hair so thick it could stretch a mile,
Features seemingly etched in stone,
Looks that basically say "leave me alone",
Listen intently, what do you hear?
Laughter that sounds like it came from a deer,
A voice so boring it could turn paint dry,
Flightless birds to escape would fly,
A character so boring it would almost pass for mature,
About as interesting as a pile of manure,
Jokes spoken like it came from a seer,
Inducing not laughter but instead fear,
If by such values a man is judged,
Then I am but a man walking with a crutch,
But if face value never counts for much,
Why then do I sometimes feel such?
Would you look past the surface into a soul deep within,
To see the person inside my skin,
Past the funny hair-do and dressing style,
Past the blemished face and the weird smile,
Beyond our husks we are but the same,
A soul of identity, a soul with a name,
Why then are we treated differently, are our looks to blame?
Is surgery then the only option, so nature I can tame?
It may be difficult for you to really see,
Granted, my looks doesn't make things easy,
But will you put aside the values that be,
And take a closer look at me?
A child of God, just like you,
A child that God called beautiful,
A child of destiny, whatever His plans be,
A child of His, that's me,
Through trials and failures I have worked through,
By His strength which steers me true,
Wanting to be appreciated for the things I do,
Wanting to be loved, just like you,
Beneath the smiles and the laughter aloud,
Throbs a heart, in pain and in doubt,
Only His love sustains me throughout,
Telling me He loves me, taking me through drought,
A small favour I ask of thee,
But a single request, so you will see,
Will you put aside the perceptions that be,
And take a closer look at me?
That what you see if what you get,
So if you dress like a pauper or you dress like a king,
You either live with pride or regret,
Not so I say,
It shouldn't be this way,
To judge a man by his looks,
Would be like vindicating crooks,
Take a look at me,
What do you see?
A face of freckles,
A large pair of spectacles,
A too-big nose and a crooked smile,
Hair so thick it could stretch a mile,
Features seemingly etched in stone,
Looks that basically say "leave me alone",
Listen intently, what do you hear?
Laughter that sounds like it came from a deer,
A voice so boring it could turn paint dry,
Flightless birds to escape would fly,
A character so boring it would almost pass for mature,
About as interesting as a pile of manure,
Jokes spoken like it came from a seer,
Inducing not laughter but instead fear,
If by such values a man is judged,
Then I am but a man walking with a crutch,
But if face value never counts for much,
Why then do I sometimes feel such?
Would you look past the surface into a soul deep within,
To see the person inside my skin,
Past the funny hair-do and dressing style,
Past the blemished face and the weird smile,
Beyond our husks we are but the same,
A soul of identity, a soul with a name,
Why then are we treated differently, are our looks to blame?
Is surgery then the only option, so nature I can tame?
It may be difficult for you to really see,
Granted, my looks doesn't make things easy,
But will you put aside the values that be,
And take a closer look at me?
A child of God, just like you,
A child that God called beautiful,
A child of destiny, whatever His plans be,
A child of His, that's me,
Through trials and failures I have worked through,
By His strength which steers me true,
Wanting to be appreciated for the things I do,
Wanting to be loved, just like you,
Beneath the smiles and the laughter aloud,
Throbs a heart, in pain and in doubt,
Only His love sustains me throughout,
Telling me He loves me, taking me through drought,
A small favour I ask of thee,
But a single request, so you will see,
Will you put aside the perceptions that be,
And take a closer look at me?
P.S: I just felt inspired to write as to how I feel OCCASIONALLY....I am not chronically or even minorly depressed...I know God loves me....and my friends do too... =)
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Deeper
I want to know You,
I want to hear Your voice,
I want to feel You,
More than before,
I want to touch You,
I want to see Your face,
I want You Jesus,
More than before,
More of You,
Jesus I want more,
More of You,
My Lord,
Take me deeper,
Than I've been before,
Take me further,
God I long for more,
Take me higher,
Than I've been before,
Jesus I want more,
Jesus I need more of You.
I want to hear Your voice,
I want to feel You,
More than before,
I want to touch You,
I want to see Your face,
I want You Jesus,
More than before,
More of You,
Jesus I want more,
More of You,
My Lord,
Take me deeper,
Than I've been before,
Take me further,
God I long for more,
Take me higher,
Than I've been before,
Jesus I want more,
Jesus I need more of You.
By Planetshakers
God, this is my prayer. Help me to live it up.
God, this is my prayer. Help me to live it up.
Monday, August 16, 2010
Of random thoughts and discoveries
Went to Sunway Pyramid today with Vincent,Ming Yao and my beloved "daughter" Ira. Was fun....in a caffeine-sorta way(starbucks...yum)...and was nice to observe people skating...especially training figure skaters...so graceful in their twirls and movements....makes me wonder how they balance when they jump,spin and fall....Vertigo obviously doesn't seem to affect them at all...such cool moves/people...haha....
I had a revelation today...can't really say it out here...would be just plain weird...but it has to do with parenting and myself....and I realised just how much I really wanted something...oh well....God's working/already worked on it...and I just have to trust Him....that doesn't mean that I'm not saying my own prayers to Him asking for it...haha....
On the other hand...
I need to get a gyropscope or something....for my unbalanced emotions...focus Victor...focus...can't afford to fall into THAT emotion again...not so soon and not for anyone....I should go look for any ancient tablets/books on how to freeze emotions/turn you heartless....but that would make me murderous/bellicose/pugnacious...hmm...maybe not such a good idea after all...
Twins have a remarkable superiority when it comes to Taboo...or maybe its just for the twins I'm close to and played with (Wei-I and Li in case you are curious). They're good....though they sometimes speak their own language....haha....had lunch with them today..was nice...discovered a new place near my home that they new about but I never knew existed...oh well..always nice to find a new place to eat...
Speaking of eating...I'm hungry...probably not supposed to say that since I'm fasting but yes...I'm starving/famished/ravenous. I should pray shouldn't I? "God, take away my hunger and thoughts of food.".
Results are out...not exactly very happy with them....B+ which would be classified as failure already since I failed to achieve my intended grade. And no, its not arrogance...just my way of spurring myself on...Harder work required next sem...6 subjects as well....*Breathe in* *Breath out*
Church was nice...nice to see people I haven't met in a while...and a friend of mine took food for me...Thanks Kui-Ling if you ever read this..though it did get me thinking...Is it just me or do we treat people we seldom see better than those always around us....not to say that she treats others badly...just my thoughts...ironic no?
And thats bout it for randomness....See ya!
I had a revelation today...can't really say it out here...would be just plain weird...but it has to do with parenting and myself....and I realised just how much I really wanted something...oh well....God's working/already worked on it...and I just have to trust Him....that doesn't mean that I'm not saying my own prayers to Him asking for it...haha....
On the other hand...
I need to get a gyropscope or something....for my unbalanced emotions...focus Victor...focus...can't afford to fall into THAT emotion again...not so soon and not for anyone....I should go look for any ancient tablets/books on how to freeze emotions/turn you heartless....but that would make me murderous/bellicose/pugnacious...hmm...maybe not such a good idea after all...
Twins have a remarkable superiority when it comes to Taboo...or maybe its just for the twins I'm close to and played with (Wei-I and Li in case you are curious). They're good....though they sometimes speak their own language....haha....had lunch with them today..was nice...discovered a new place near my home that they new about but I never knew existed...oh well..always nice to find a new place to eat...
Speaking of eating...I'm hungry...probably not supposed to say that since I'm fasting but yes...I'm starving/famished/ravenous. I should pray shouldn't I? "God, take away my hunger and thoughts of food.".
Results are out...not exactly very happy with them....B+ which would be classified as failure already since I failed to achieve my intended grade. And no, its not arrogance...just my way of spurring myself on...Harder work required next sem...6 subjects as well....*Breathe in* *Breath out*
Church was nice...nice to see people I haven't met in a while...and a friend of mine took food for me...Thanks Kui-Ling if you ever read this..though it did get me thinking...Is it just me or do we treat people we seldom see better than those always around us....not to say that she treats others badly...just my thoughts...ironic no?
And thats bout it for randomness....See ya!
Saturday, August 14, 2010
There's always someone out there
Who hurts when you hurt,
Who hurts to see you hurt,
Who hurts when you hurt for others,
Who quietly supports you,
Who does hidden favours for you,
Who cares enough to ask,
Who finds out anyway if something is wrong and you won't tell,
Who loves you,
Besides You God,
I do hope there is.
Who hurts to see you hurt,
Who hurts when you hurt for others,
Who quietly supports you,
Who does hidden favours for you,
Who cares enough to ask,
Who finds out anyway if something is wrong and you won't tell,
Who loves you,
Besides You God,
I do hope there is.
Saturday, August 7, 2010
To: God (3)
I love You!!!!
You made everything alright!!!
You gave me a great day to take my mind off things!
You made the meeting run so well!!!
You sent me a friend in times of need.
A friend who understood and a friend who was in a position to help.
Thank You for Erina.
You are awesome!!!!
I love You so so much!!!!!!!!
I will sing of Your faithfulness,
Of Your mercies and Your love,
Of Your comfort and gentleness,
That descends like a dove,
I will sing of Your works and Your wondrous deeds,
Of Your grace for me when I am in need,
I will sing of Your wisdom and guidance,
Of Your strength for me to continue in perseverance,
Kasih yang sempurna telah,
Ku terima dari Mu,
Bukan kerana kebaikanku,
Hanya oleh kasih kurniaMu,
Kau pulihkan aku,
Layakkan ku untuk dapat memanggil Mu Bapa,
Kau beri yang ku minta,
Saat ku mencari ku mendapatkan,
Ku ketuk pintuMu dan Kau bukakan,
Sebab Kau Bapaku,
Bapa yang Kekal,
Takkan Kau biarkan,
Aku melangkah hanya sendirian,
Kau selalu ada bagi ku,
Sebab Kau Bapaku,
Bapa yang Kekal.
You made everything alright!!!
You gave me a great day to take my mind off things!
You made the meeting run so well!!!
You sent me a friend in times of need.
A friend who understood and a friend who was in a position to help.
Thank You for Erina.
You are awesome!!!!
I love You so so much!!!!!!!!
I will sing of Your faithfulness,
Of Your mercies and Your love,
Of Your comfort and gentleness,
That descends like a dove,
I will sing of Your works and Your wondrous deeds,
Of Your grace for me when I am in need,
I will sing of Your wisdom and guidance,
Of Your strength for me to continue in perseverance,
Kasih yang sempurna telah,
Ku terima dari Mu,
Bukan kerana kebaikanku,
Hanya oleh kasih kurniaMu,
Kau pulihkan aku,
Layakkan ku untuk dapat memanggil Mu Bapa,
Kau beri yang ku minta,
Saat ku mencari ku mendapatkan,
Ku ketuk pintuMu dan Kau bukakan,
Sebab Kau Bapaku,
Bapa yang Kekal,
Takkan Kau biarkan,
Aku melangkah hanya sendirian,
Kau selalu ada bagi ku,
Sebab Kau Bapaku,
Bapa yang Kekal.
Malay lyrics from Bapa yang Kekal
I LOVE YOU GOD/JESUS/HOLY SPIRIT!!!!
Thanks so much!!!!
I LOVE YOU GOD/JESUS/HOLY SPIRIT!!!!
Thanks so much!!!!
Friday, August 6, 2010
To: God (2)
God, I feel like crying...
No more words that rhyme...
I can't even think straight...
Suddenly I feel like everything is crumbling around me...
I'm worried...I'm worried bout the camp
I'm worried bout what I'm doing..
I'm not leading it properly...
There's so many things not done...
I'm worried bout my results...
I don't know what will happen..
I'm frustrated Lord!!!!!!!!
I'm so frustrated and angry with myself!!!
I don't know what I'm doing..
I hate my slack-ness...
My irresponsibility that led to so many problems...
With the committee...
With the camp preparations...
With so many things...
Like CF as well...
I feel like crying...But my eyes are dry...
It's as though the distance from my heart to my eyes is so far...
That by the time the pain gets there its simmered down to the point where my eyes don't want to tear anymore...
God I'm really tired....And I haven't even done anything worth being tired about...
My responsibilities are in a mess now...
I have to drag myself about to get things done...
I feel so useless and helpless Lord...
I don't even know why I'm feeling this way...
I feel like a fool...
And I'm sorry if I disappointed You in this...
Sorry...I'm so sorry...I want to do better...
I really do....
No more words that rhyme...
I can't even think straight...
Suddenly I feel like everything is crumbling around me...
I'm worried...I'm worried bout the camp
I'm worried bout what I'm doing..
I'm not leading it properly...
There's so many things not done...
I'm worried bout my results...
I don't know what will happen..
I'm frustrated Lord!!!!!!!!
I'm so frustrated and angry with myself!!!
I don't know what I'm doing..
I hate my slack-ness...
My irresponsibility that led to so many problems...
With the committee...
With the camp preparations...
With so many things...
Like CF as well...
I feel like crying...But my eyes are dry...
It's as though the distance from my heart to my eyes is so far...
That by the time the pain gets there its simmered down to the point where my eyes don't want to tear anymore...
God I'm really tired....And I haven't even done anything worth being tired about...
My responsibilities are in a mess now...
I have to drag myself about to get things done...
I feel so useless and helpless Lord...
I don't even know why I'm feeling this way...
I feel like a fool...
And I'm sorry if I disappointed You in this...
Sorry...I'm so sorry...I want to do better...
I really do....
To: God
Stressed stressed stressed,
It seems to be my companion these days,
Aren't I supposed to be in Your presence,
To walk Your peaceful ways?
What has happened to my plans,
My schedules are all mixed up,
Problems to which I have no defence,
Circumstances are filling my cup,
In Your secret place I know,
Peace and understanding in me will overflow,
But can I find that secret place,
To feel the warmth of Your embrace,
Am I like Martha, who knew not what was important,
Or am I simply me, failing in my duty,
It seems like an ominous portent.
I'm worried Lord,
And nervous,
I'm scared of things disastrous,
And above all Lord I lack,
Faith and confidence,
In my quiet times I reflect,
And see my actions that were devoid of substance,
"Help me Lord!" is my distant cry,
"I want to do better! I want to try!",
And then, when my fears strip me bare,
I look to the heavens and hear Your voice,
I know,
You are there.
It seems to be my companion these days,
Aren't I supposed to be in Your presence,
To walk Your peaceful ways?
What has happened to my plans,
My schedules are all mixed up,
Problems to which I have no defence,
Circumstances are filling my cup,
In Your secret place I know,
Peace and understanding in me will overflow,
But can I find that secret place,
To feel the warmth of Your embrace,
Am I like Martha, who knew not what was important,
Or am I simply me, failing in my duty,
It seems like an ominous portent.
I'm worried Lord,
And nervous,
I'm scared of things disastrous,
And above all Lord I lack,
Faith and confidence,
In my quiet times I reflect,
And see my actions that were devoid of substance,
"Help me Lord!" is my distant cry,
"I want to do better! I want to try!",
And then, when my fears strip me bare,
I look to the heavens and hear Your voice,
I know,
You are there.
Friday, July 30, 2010
I guess I just am...
Recently..I realised that there's been a lot of people asking me how I've been...and wanting to know me better and get closer to me....I really appreciate it at times....their concern shows that there are people out there who care enough to ask....and sometimes the people I care about most don't bother to ask...which can be discouraging....sometimes......and I guess that it's an answer to my prayers at times to have people to pour out to...but strangely....I find that I just can't....I can talk to them bout some issues...but I cannot just pour out the exact words in my heart to any1....despite their efforts to show concern and care for me...I guess its one of two things...
1. I don't really trust anyone and I don't really want to develop a close relationship with any1 right now....besides the few people that I already care about a lot...there's a psychological term to it but it slipped my mind for now...
2. I don't really trust people as much as I do anymore...I can tell them certain issues like why I'm stressed and all..but as to the exact condition..only God will ever know...I guess it could be due to past experiences...
In a way sometimes I feel guilty for being aloof all the time...so I try to tell them a bit of my problems...but then again I'm just trying to show them I appreciate their efforts...and its not really bout me wanting to share already....sigh....I don't know why either...I guess I just am like that....will need to deal with it someday....
1. I don't really trust anyone and I don't really want to develop a close relationship with any1 right now....besides the few people that I already care about a lot...there's a psychological term to it but it slipped my mind for now...
2. I don't really trust people as much as I do anymore...I can tell them certain issues like why I'm stressed and all..but as to the exact condition..only God will ever know...I guess it could be due to past experiences...
In a way sometimes I feel guilty for being aloof all the time...so I try to tell them a bit of my problems...but then again I'm just trying to show them I appreciate their efforts...and its not really bout me wanting to share already....sigh....I don't know why either...I guess I just am like that....will need to deal with it someday....
Monday, July 26, 2010
Saturate me,
Call me deeper,
Take me past the walls,
You're all I need.
Pour out Your spirit on me,
Drown me in Your love,
That surpasses all that I can muster,
That smothers all my emotions,
I'm waiting here,
Longing for more,
Let Your power come,
Let it fill me in the inside,
And flow out,
Take my heart and all I am,
I am here Lord,
Send me,
I will go.
Call me deeper,
Take me past the walls,
You're all I need.
Pour out Your spirit on me,
Drown me in Your love,
That surpasses all that I can muster,
That smothers all my emotions,
I'm waiting here,
Longing for more,
Let Your power come,
Let it fill me in the inside,
And flow out,
Take my heart and all I am,
I am here Lord,
Send me,
I will go.
Monday, July 19, 2010
Of Letting Go
What must I do?
What do I say?
What can take this pain away?
Look through these walls,
These barriers of time,
See the joy and the smiles,
And the pain that's left behind,
Remembering the moments,
The heated flashes and temperaments,
The laughter and the fun,
Under the rays of a shining sun,
Words cannot express,
Actions cannot deny,
Yet I continue to press,
Continue will I to defy,
I want to let go,
Of this I know,
I will let go,
I will let go,
There are others around,
Who deserve more from me,
People who always surround,
Even when troubles abound,
They accompany me.
Give yourself a chance,
Open up your heart,
There are people there,
There are people waiting,
Time passes by,
Never thought I'd wind up,
One step behind,
Now I've made my mind up,
Today I'm gonna try a lil harder,
Gonna make every minute last longer,
Gonna learn to forgive and forget,
Coz we don't have long, gonna make the most of it,
Today I'm gonna love my enemies,
Reach out to somebody who needs me,
Make a change, Make the world a better place,
Coz tomorrow could be one day too late,
One day too late.
Italics from One Day Too Late by Skillet
What do I say?
What can take this pain away?
Look through these walls,
These barriers of time,
See the joy and the smiles,
And the pain that's left behind,
Remembering the moments,
The heated flashes and temperaments,
The laughter and the fun,
Under the rays of a shining sun,
Words cannot express,
Actions cannot deny,
Yet I continue to press,
Continue will I to defy,
I want to let go,
Of this I know,
I will let go,
I will let go,
There are others around,
Who deserve more from me,
People who always surround,
Even when troubles abound,
They accompany me.
Give yourself a chance,
Open up your heart,
There are people there,
There are people waiting,
Time passes by,
Never thought I'd wind up,
One step behind,
Now I've made my mind up,
Today I'm gonna try a lil harder,
Gonna make every minute last longer,
Gonna learn to forgive and forget,
Coz we don't have long, gonna make the most of it,
Today I'm gonna love my enemies,
Reach out to somebody who needs me,
Make a change, Make the world a better place,
Coz tomorrow could be one day too late,
One day too late.
Live your life to its fullest.
Express yourself the way you know best.
Time to be free and to do what you want.
Give to those who have been there for you all this while.
Only then will it be fair to yourself and to them.
Express yourself the way you know best.
Time to be free and to do what you want.
Give to those who have been there for you all this while.
Only then will it be fair to yourself and to them.
Italics from One Day Too Late by Skillet
Friday, July 16, 2010
My soul finds rest in God alone,
my salvation comes from Him,
He alone is my Rock and my salvation,
He is my fortress, I will never be shaken,
How long will you assault a man?
Would all of you throw him down-
this leaning wall, this tottering fence?
They fully intend to topple him
from his lofty place;
they delight in lies.
With their mouths they bless,
but in their hearts they curse.
Find rest, O my soul, in God alone;
my hope comes from Him.
He alone is my Rock and my salvation;
He is my fortress, I will not be shaken.
He is my mighty rock, my refuge.
Trust in Him at all times, O people;
pour out your hearts to Him,
for God is our refuge.
my salvation comes from Him,
He alone is my Rock and my salvation,
He is my fortress, I will never be shaken,
How long will you assault a man?
Would all of you throw him down-
this leaning wall, this tottering fence?
They fully intend to topple him
from his lofty place;
they delight in lies.
With their mouths they bless,
but in their hearts they curse.
Find rest, O my soul, in God alone;
my hope comes from Him.
He alone is my Rock and my salvation;
He is my fortress, I will not be shaken.
My salvation and honor depend on God,
He is my mighty rock, my refuge.
Trust in Him at all times, O people;
pour out your hearts to Him,
for God is our refuge.
Psalms 62:1-8
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Victor wants to....
Go to South Africa.
Bungee jump-With or without the rope.
Sky-dive.
Climb a mountain.
Look at the sunrise from atop said mountain.
Shout from atop said mountain.
Look at the sunset before descending said mountain.
White-water raft.
Go to a wilderness with nothing but a backpack for a few days.
Run down a hill.
Observe the stars.
Shout loud and long.
Bungee jump-With or without the rope.
Sky-dive.
Climb a mountain.
Look at the sunrise from atop said mountain.
Shout from atop said mountain.
Look at the sunset before descending said mountain.
White-water raft.
Go to a wilderness with nothing but a backpack for a few days.
Run down a hill.
Observe the stars.
Shout loud and long.
Because he's finally free. From exams. From holdiing on. From obligations. From duties. From emotions-certain ones. And he's never felt better for it.
Bring it on world!
I await!
I await!
Monday, July 12, 2010
Hidden Deep Within
Deep in the depths,
Roiling and raging,
Only ever occasionally,
Reduced to a simmering,
It is never still,
Never calm,
Never to be until,
Exposed to that healing balm,
Will you never know?
Can you not hear?
Can you not feel the surge of emotions,
Everytime you draw near?
I once thought that it would all change,
That the difference would be made,
Through care and love exchange,
Such hubris in the face of my results,
Is laughable at best,
I've tried my best,
I've failed that test,
I see it now, the twists and turns,
Of fate and folly, knowing their wonts,
I've been a fool, to turn from the One,
To base my joy on another other than the Son,
And yet human am I,
And still I sigh,
For the "could have beens",
And the chances nigh,
Time draws close,
It races near,
It knows no delay,
And fills me with fear,
The time will come,
When you will be gone,
Yet nothing I can do,
Than wait for it to be done,
Away with these feelings,
They serve me no cause,
Away with these hurts,
And the smiles of force,
I will wait once again,
In quietness and trust,
Knowing my Creator has His plans and thus,
Relieved I will be, within His embrace,
Knowing I am free, in the presence of His Grace,
Free from hurts and free from pain,
Free from stress and a heartful of strain,
Free from desiring anything else,
Free in the knowledge that my needs He quells,
He knows me like none other,
He knows me for He is my Father,
He leads me to paths better,
He leads me through calm pasture,
A prayer I will offer, for that person beyond,
For guidance and blessings, and in safety be borne,
For happiness and joy through the rest of all days,
For tenderness and love, to keep apace,
Though it comes not from my heart as its place.
Roiling and raging,
Only ever occasionally,
Reduced to a simmering,
It is never still,
Never calm,
Never to be until,
Exposed to that healing balm,
Will you never know?
Can you not hear?
Can you not feel the surge of emotions,
Everytime you draw near?
I once thought that it would all change,
That the difference would be made,
Through care and love exchange,
Such hubris in the face of my results,
Is laughable at best,
I've tried my best,
I've failed that test,
I see it now, the twists and turns,
Of fate and folly, knowing their wonts,
I've been a fool, to turn from the One,
To base my joy on another other than the Son,
And yet human am I,
And still I sigh,
For the "could have beens",
And the chances nigh,
Time draws close,
It races near,
It knows no delay,
And fills me with fear,
The time will come,
When you will be gone,
Yet nothing I can do,
Than wait for it to be done,
Away with these feelings,
They serve me no cause,
Away with these hurts,
And the smiles of force,
I will wait once again,
In quietness and trust,
Knowing my Creator has His plans and thus,
Relieved I will be, within His embrace,
Knowing I am free, in the presence of His Grace,
Free from hurts and free from pain,
Free from stress and a heartful of strain,
Free from desiring anything else,
Free in the knowledge that my needs He quells,
He knows me like none other,
He knows me for He is my Father,
He leads me to paths better,
He leads me through calm pasture,
A prayer I will offer, for that person beyond,
For guidance and blessings, and in safety be borne,
For happiness and joy through the rest of all days,
For tenderness and love, to keep apace,
Though it comes not from my heart as its place.
Composed:Eminence
To: A friend indeed
To: A friend indeed
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Tomorrow
Glanced through a friend's blog and saw an old entry entitled "Tomorrow"
Well, it was just her way of telling every1 bout a big event coming up tomorrow...
Although in this case that "Tomorrow" happens to be like a month ago...give or take a few days......
Anyway...back to the issue....it got me thinking about the word Tomorrow.....
It's really a word very often taken for granted it seems....
How many times do we tell our friends "See you tomorrow!"
What makes us think there even will be a tomorrow.....
I know...I sound depressed and all...but when you do take some time to think bout it...
Tomorrow really seems like something abstract at best....
Who can say if tomorrow will come....who can say what will happen tomorrow....
Even Jesus said "Do not worry bout tomorrow...for tomorrow will worry bout itself".
Live your life like its your last day....
Wise words indeed...coz none of us are assured of a tomorrow....
At least not a tomorrow on this planet in this earthly form at least....
The any real thing we have for us is the NOW....what we are going through....
Seems to make the idea of putting off assignments til tomorrow kinda dumb doesn't it?
Ah well...that's something all college students suffer from...
Don't deny it now...no matter how dilligent you are...
You surely have postponed something for "tomorrow" before....
IF you haven't...then my apologies for assuming such....
If there's one thing that never comes, its tomorrow....
Coz when it comes, it becomes today....
Confusing yes...but take some time to figure it out...
Listening to a song that's entitled Worship Forevermore...
And I realised that its not really that much of a promise I can give to God...
To worship Him forevermore....
I can't even say with confidence if I'll still be here tomorrow...
If I'll still be alive to worship Him tomorrow...
All I can do is sing it to Him now....
And hope that I can do it day by day...
One step at a time....
Well, it was just her way of telling every1 bout a big event coming up tomorrow...
Although in this case that "Tomorrow" happens to be like a month ago...give or take a few days......
Anyway...back to the issue....it got me thinking about the word Tomorrow.....
It's really a word very often taken for granted it seems....
How many times do we tell our friends "See you tomorrow!"
What makes us think there even will be a tomorrow.....
I know...I sound depressed and all...but when you do take some time to think bout it...
Tomorrow really seems like something abstract at best....
Who can say if tomorrow will come....who can say what will happen tomorrow....
Even Jesus said "Do not worry bout tomorrow...for tomorrow will worry bout itself".
Live your life like its your last day....
Wise words indeed...coz none of us are assured of a tomorrow....
At least not a tomorrow on this planet in this earthly form at least....
The any real thing we have for us is the NOW....what we are going through....
Seems to make the idea of putting off assignments til tomorrow kinda dumb doesn't it?
Ah well...that's something all college students suffer from...
Don't deny it now...no matter how dilligent you are...
You surely have postponed something for "tomorrow" before....
IF you haven't...then my apologies for assuming such....
If there's one thing that never comes, its tomorrow....
Coz when it comes, it becomes today....
Confusing yes...but take some time to figure it out...
Listening to a song that's entitled Worship Forevermore...
And I realised that its not really that much of a promise I can give to God...
To worship Him forevermore....
I can't even say with confidence if I'll still be here tomorrow...
If I'll still be alive to worship Him tomorrow...
All I can do is sing it to Him now....
And hope that I can do it day by day...
One step at a time....
God, thanks for giving me today...and forgive me if I have not done my best with the day You have given me...Help me to live each day with the knowledge that its a gift from You...every time I gain a new day, that You were the one who brought my tomorrow....and I should never forget that...I can offer You nothing more than my praise and thanks and worship each day....for I do not know if tomorrow will come....in any case....Thanks for the days all this while....Help me to make better use of it....Amen.
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
My Funny Friend
We started out mortal enemies-both in rival classes
After two years, we were forced into the same class due to a oh-so-small school
And we coexisted as such for the next 4 years right til secondary
In which time our relationship hadn't improved in the slightest
In fact it wouldn't be an understatement to say it got worse
After all, one can only take so much of stepping on each others toes for that long
And then came secondary
Once again, we were forced into the same class
Once again forced to coexist
Once again we didn't get along well
She joined the side of the angels (prefects)
Me, well lets just say people would flee in abject terror at my appearance
A horrendous temper certainly helped things
And thus we were always at war
I'd be the instigator, and she'd be the angel that brought retribution
Smiting us with the all-powerful detention book.
And then came form 3....
Something happened....
(I haven't the slightest clue what)
And we started talking...
Oh yes, there were the times when we still fought
(At least she claims to remember it...I certainly don't =P )
But an acquaintance-ship formed...and we learnt we could do more than co-exist
We could be friends!
*Gasp*
Kinda sad that it took us 9 years to realise that.
Oh well, we're young...we can afford to waste nine years
=P
Yes...I said that just to rub it in to all those reading who are older
And then came form4.....Just when we were getting to talk more,
We split classes....
I joined the class of the geniuses(Science)
She...well....she just joined the average one
*Before you guys erupt in rage, I have one thing to say to placate all of you....
ITS TRUE!*
Still, it didn't stop us from talking....
I got to know her better...and a friendship developed...
Built on the bones of the past hurts...(mostly my actions and HER hurt)
Oh well, I'm a guy....So I guess I have that in my defence....
Anyhoo,time flew past quickly,
And by the time the end of form 5 came, we were fast friends,
*or at least I THINK so*
I learnt that she was also HUMAN,
(Which meant that she did sleep in class as well)
*Yes you did my funny friend...don't deny it*
That she had her doubts just like me,
And that she was a really nice person
If you didn't irritate her into whipping out her prefect book that is...
Oh did I mention she was one of the BIG FOUR...
Yes....so double the torture...
BEWARE OFFENDERS!
High school is over now...
I really miss those days...
Standing in the cool morning watching the sun rise...
With my funny friend and others...
Some funnier...others not so...
But all equally beautiful and wonderful
(Guys and girls just so you know)
To my funny friend:
After two years, we were forced into the same class due to a oh-so-small school
And we coexisted as such for the next 4 years right til secondary
In which time our relationship hadn't improved in the slightest
In fact it wouldn't be an understatement to say it got worse
After all, one can only take so much of stepping on each others toes for that long
And then came secondary
Once again, we were forced into the same class
Once again forced to coexist
Once again we didn't get along well
She joined the side of the angels (prefects)
Me, well lets just say people would flee in abject terror at my appearance
A horrendous temper certainly helped things
And thus we were always at war
I'd be the instigator, and she'd be the angel that brought retribution
Smiting us with the all-powerful detention book.
And then came form 3....
Something happened....
(I haven't the slightest clue what)
And we started talking...
Oh yes, there were the times when we still fought
(At least she claims to remember it...I certainly don't =P )
But an acquaintance-ship formed...and we learnt we could do more than co-exist
We could be friends!
*Gasp*
Kinda sad that it took us 9 years to realise that.
Oh well, we're young...we can afford to waste nine years
=P
Yes...I said that just to rub it in to all those reading who are older
And then came form4.....Just when we were getting to talk more,
We split classes....
I joined the class of the geniuses(Science)
She...well....she just joined the average one
*Before you guys erupt in rage, I have one thing to say to placate all of you....
ITS TRUE!*
Still, it didn't stop us from talking....
I got to know her better...and a friendship developed...
Built on the bones of the past hurts...(mostly my actions and HER hurt)
Oh well, I'm a guy....So I guess I have that in my defence....
Anyhoo,time flew past quickly,
And by the time the end of form 5 came, we were fast friends,
*or at least I THINK so*
I learnt that she was also HUMAN,
(Which meant that she did sleep in class as well)
*Yes you did my funny friend...don't deny it*
That she had her doubts just like me,
And that she was a really nice person
If you didn't irritate her into whipping out her prefect book that is...
Oh did I mention she was one of the BIG FOUR...
Yes....so double the torture...
BEWARE OFFENDERS!
High school is over now...
I really miss those days...
Standing in the cool morning watching the sun rise...
With my funny friend and others...
Some funnier...others not so...
But all equally beautiful and wonderful
(Guys and girls just so you know)
To my funny friend:
Just so you know, I really really love you...you get what I mean :)
Always will too :)
Sincerely, Thank you for all you've done,and always being there
May God bless you in all you do....always
I'm proud to be able to call you my friend...
Now, and for always....
Always will too :)
Sincerely, Thank you for all you've done,and always being there
May God bless you in all you do....always
I'm proud to be able to call you my friend...
Now, and for always....
Everything I ever did that hurt you, I'm really sorry...
Thank you again,
My funny friend.
My funny friend.
Monday, June 7, 2010
Learning to Trust
Been struggling a whole lot recently...especially with the short semester...
Especially especially when deadlines are drawing near and assignments are piling up...
And insane lecturers try to make life even more miserable by pelting you with quizzes and the like.
Goodness knows what made me think I could handle 3 subjects in a short semester...
And if that wasn't enough, to add to that,
A portfolio in CF that I got no ideas on,
A camp coming in less than 3 months time,
A committee I seemingly can't seem to lead effectively,
Personal issues to struggle with,
Strong emotions to handle,
And money seemingly flowing out of my account with the current of a monsoon drain,
On a very rainy day at that....
But then a friend of mine asked a very pertinent question,
(When I was telling her bout my fears for camp and all)
She asked, "Who's camp is this?"
And suddenly it all fell into place.
TRUST.
Thats the key I've been missing so far,
The key that can unlock all my problems,
And its astounding since God has shown me throughout the year,
That He sees my needs,
He hears my prayers, (both the hidden and clear ones)
And He has answered them ( or not) according to His perfect will,
My devotion everyday, just reveals more of what He wants to tell me,
And what He wants/has for my life,
And yet I didn't know to trust when it really did matter,
When things came to a boil,
I chose to look at my circumstances,
And shifted my focus away from Him,
We humans are hyperopic creatures,
When we look ahead to God, everything else comes into sharp focus,
But when we choose to look at the problems in front of us,
Our world turns blurry,
And we stumble and fall coz we can't see the way ahead anymore,
I shall end this entry with a short creed shall I?
I believe in prayers, though my answers be silence,
I believe in love, though I may stumble and fall,
I believe in peace, even in times of violence,
I believe in God, who conquers things all.
Especially especially when deadlines are drawing near and assignments are piling up...
And insane lecturers try to make life even more miserable by pelting you with quizzes and the like.
Goodness knows what made me think I could handle 3 subjects in a short semester...
And if that wasn't enough, to add to that,
A portfolio in CF that I got no ideas on,
A camp coming in less than 3 months time,
A committee I seemingly can't seem to lead effectively,
Personal issues to struggle with,
Strong emotions to handle,
And money seemingly flowing out of my account with the current of a monsoon drain,
On a very rainy day at that....
But then a friend of mine asked a very pertinent question,
(When I was telling her bout my fears for camp and all)
She asked, "Who's camp is this?"
And suddenly it all fell into place.
TRUST.
Thats the key I've been missing so far,
The key that can unlock all my problems,
And its astounding since God has shown me throughout the year,
That He sees my needs,
He hears my prayers, (both the hidden and clear ones)
And He has answered them ( or not) according to His perfect will,
My devotion everyday, just reveals more of what He wants to tell me,
And what He wants/has for my life,
And yet I didn't know to trust when it really did matter,
When things came to a boil,
I chose to look at my circumstances,
And shifted my focus away from Him,
We humans are hyperopic creatures,
When we look ahead to God, everything else comes into sharp focus,
But when we choose to look at the problems in front of us,
Our world turns blurry,
And we stumble and fall coz we can't see the way ahead anymore,
I shall end this entry with a short creed shall I?
I believe in prayers, though my answers be silence,
I believe in love, though I may stumble and fall,
I believe in peace, even in times of violence,
I believe in God, who conquers things all.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
The Day She Came
She came into my life,
Bursting upon the scene,
Surely it was intended,
For I fell for her it seemed,
Her eyes were full of passion,
The sound of her serene,
As she looked at me with the face of compassion,
My heart raced within,
Her soft and quiet ways,
Captivated me,
How I longed for the days,
That we could together be,
She whispered her contentment,
Her face resting on my hand,
Oh how I wish those moments,
Would number like the sand,
To hold her in my arms,
Few things can compare,
Her beauty and her charms,
Truly held my stare,
Sitting alone with her,
The world seemed so bright,
I looked at her countenance,
And beheld a wondrous sight,
My heart she moved,
With her actions so tame,
It was love at first sight,
The very day she came.
Bursting upon the scene,
Surely it was intended,
For I fell for her it seemed,
Her eyes were full of passion,
The sound of her serene,
As she looked at me with the face of compassion,
My heart raced within,
Her soft and quiet ways,
Captivated me,
How I longed for the days,
That we could together be,
She whispered her contentment,
Her face resting on my hand,
Oh how I wish those moments,
Would number like the sand,
To hold her in my arms,
Few things can compare,
Her beauty and her charms,
Truly held my stare,
Sitting alone with her,
The world seemed so bright,
I looked at her countenance,
And beheld a wondrous sight,
My heart she moved,
With her actions so tame,
It was love at first sight,
The very day she came.
Monday, May 31, 2010
Take it all
You won't relent til You have it all?
Well I'd gladly give it to You,
Just a slight problem to be honest,
And I think You know it too,
You know my inner most parts,
You understand my situation,
You see me when I'm struggling hard,
Against my stronger emotion,
Take that part of me too,
I know I'm not ready for this,
Fill it up with Your love so true,
Until there's nothing left for me to miss,
God prepare me,
To be a sanctuary,
Pure and holy,
Tried and true,
With thanksgiving,
I'll be a living,
Sanctuary,
For You,
I commit it into Your hands,
Knowing I'll never understand Your perfect plans,
I know what I want may not come true,
That You might say "It's not the best for you",
And if I foolishly otherwise demand,
Lord help me at that time to understand,
That You only want what's best for me,
Because You know my destiny,
God I ask for Your relief,
Let this sorrow I'm experiencing be ever so brief,
Help me thank You everyday,
For the times I treasure that You've sent my way,
As I pray Lord heed my call,
Help me not to stumble and fall,
Take this burden Lord, Help me stand tall,
I surrender it Lord, Take it all.
Well I'd gladly give it to You,
Just a slight problem to be honest,
And I think You know it too,
You know my inner most parts,
You understand my situation,
You see me when I'm struggling hard,
Against my stronger emotion,
Take that part of me too,
I know I'm not ready for this,
Fill it up with Your love so true,
Until there's nothing left for me to miss,
God prepare me,
To be a sanctuary,
Pure and holy,
Tried and true,
With thanksgiving,
I'll be a living,
Sanctuary,
For You,
I commit it into Your hands,
Knowing I'll never understand Your perfect plans,
I know what I want may not come true,
That You might say "It's not the best for you",
And if I foolishly otherwise demand,
Lord help me at that time to understand,
That You only want what's best for me,
Because You know my destiny,
God I ask for Your relief,
Let this sorrow I'm experiencing be ever so brief,
Help me thank You everyday,
For the times I treasure that You've sent my way,
As I pray Lord heed my call,
Help me not to stumble and fall,
Take this burden Lord, Help me stand tall,
I surrender it Lord, Take it all.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Psalm 23-B.Psyc Year 1 edition
The Lord is my PAL tutor,
I shall not fail,
He helps me understand the concept of Chi,
And leads me through the rigors of 105,
He upholds me in Intro,
He guides me in my 106,
So for it I shall not be worried sick,
Even though I walk through the valley of insurmountable quizzes,
I will fear no Ms. Winnee,
For He is with me,
His knowledge and wisdom,
Takes me through 113,
He prepares my lab report with me,
In the presence of my teamates three,
He anoints my finals with A's,
Blesses my grades and CGPA,
Surely re-takes will not haunt me,
All the days of my life,
And I will dwell in His house of the sane forever.
(or at least til year 2 comes)
I shall not fail,
He helps me understand the concept of Chi,
And leads me through the rigors of 105,
He upholds me in Intro,
He guides me in my 106,
So for it I shall not be worried sick,
Even though I walk through the valley of insurmountable quizzes,
I will fear no Ms. Winnee,
For He is with me,
His knowledge and wisdom,
Takes me through 113,
He prepares my lab report with me,
In the presence of my teamates three,
He anoints my finals with A's,
Blesses my grades and CGPA,
Surely re-takes will not haunt me,
All the days of my life,
And I will dwell in His house of the sane forever.
(or at least til year 2 comes)
Friday, May 7, 2010
Feelings...
It has been a major thing these past two years...feelings....definitely not centered or cornered to romantic ones only....nonono...but feelings have been really really diverse since entering in college.....feeling like an unprepared leader in camp and CF activities, feeling like a lil bro to a few friends I have had the blessing to know...feeling like the kid in the committee....I guess I realised one thing...I am like a kid in that sense...I feel nice when I know I can look up to people around me for advice and guidance...and I dread the day when I will be the one up there in their position with people looking up to ME for guidance and direction...I'd very much prefer feeling and staying in this kiddo-role thank you very much....It's awesome to have people who aren't related to you treat you like their younger brother...I guess I can never have too many older siblings despite already having 2 biological ones...
Thank you God for giving me friends and older friends/siblings like Jeremy, James, Jenn Ming, Alvin, Shimron, Victoria, Joycie, Esmie, Karuna, Mel, Bea and so many others who have been such a blessing to my life....To you my older Kors and Jies...to You my Lord.
Thank you God for giving me friends and older friends/siblings like Jeremy, James, Jenn Ming, Alvin, Shimron, Victoria, Joycie, Esmie, Karuna, Mel, Bea and so many others who have been such a blessing to my life....To you my older Kors and Jies...to You my Lord.
Saturday, May 1, 2010
Another Year!
Happy 19th Birthday Lynette! hope you had a fun 1 though the "surprise" wasn't really surprising..oh well...anyway...yeah...this post is for you....(you should feel honoured)....thanks for being a great friend especially in college!God bless you in all you do yeah!
Sorry...very short post only...hahahaha!
Sorry...very short post only...hahahaha!
Thursday, April 29, 2010
God You are Awesome
Got my results today...I would have been happy with 3 passes but when I saw my results I was shocked...High Distinction for Tourism paper, Credit for Legal studies and Distinction for STATISTICS...the paper I thought I was going to fail....awesome.....God thanks for the results...really...could never have done it without You..and I didn't deserve Your grace and mercy...not in the least...so thanks once again...I'm amazed.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Anticipation
The heart beats faster,
The mind races ahead,
The body sweats it out,
When you're waiting for it to come,
All you can do is wait.
Anticipation tears at me,
Biting away my confidence,
I watch the clock,
Every tick, every tock,
Knowing daybreak will bring,
Joy or suffering.
Come what may,
Pleasure or dismay,
What tomorrow may bring,
Still I hope to sing,
For it will be the day that the Lord has made,
I will rejoice and be glad in it.
The mind races ahead,
The body sweats it out,
When you're waiting for it to come,
All you can do is wait.
Anticipation tears at me,
Biting away my confidence,
I watch the clock,
Every tick, every tock,
Knowing daybreak will bring,
Joy or suffering.
Come what may,
Pleasure or dismay,
What tomorrow may bring,
Still I hope to sing,
For it will be the day that the Lord has made,
I will rejoice and be glad in it.
Friday, April 23, 2010
Weeeee!!!!
Finally got to hang out with Jas, Manda and Lynn again after so long!haha...Jas' hair grew...so long d...lol....lunch was quite ridiculous...the others had lunch that cost like 3.50 and 5.00 but mine was 20. Really shocker...ah well...such is the price of indian food nowadays...lol.....anyway...was super fun...talking and laughing all the way....and the Swift is really living up to its name...fast car....not used to it...prefer my Old Junk Myvi....cute green tortoise...best car ever!ah well...dead tired now....til next time then!
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Chapel
First time I really shared in chapel in my old secondary school today....was really nervous...and the nerves never really settled until I walked out the side door....haha...was scared spitless til the end of the sharing...didn't feel at all comfortable...proves I'm not pastor material...lol...anyway...was a nice experience...somehow looking at my teachers again my heart was really moved for them....as I remembered the sacrifice that each of them has made...and I decided to make it clear to the students about it at the end of the sharing...hope whatever I said was God-sent...and that it didn't fall on deaf ears....however slight a difference...it will suffice....hehe....
I want a mp3/mp4/i-pod nano...but apple products are just so overpriced....not value for money...hoping to get 1 free....any kind souls out there? :)
I want a mp3/mp4/i-pod nano...but apple products are just so overpriced....not value for money...hoping to get 1 free....any kind souls out there? :)
Monday, April 19, 2010
Is anybody happier because you passed his way?
Does anyone remember that you spoke to him today?
This day is almsot over, and its toiling its time through.
Is there anyone to utter now a friendly word for you?
Can you say tonight in passing with the days that slipped so fast,
That you helped a single person, of the many that you passed?
Is a single heart rejoicing over what you did or said?
Does anyone whose hopes were fading now with courage look ahead?
Did you waste the day, or lose it? Was it well or poorly spent?
Did you leave a trail of kindness or a scar of discontent?
-Taken from The One Year Alive Devotions for Students
Does anyone remember that you spoke to him today?
This day is almsot over, and its toiling its time through.
Is there anyone to utter now a friendly word for you?
Can you say tonight in passing with the days that slipped so fast,
That you helped a single person, of the many that you passed?
Is a single heart rejoicing over what you did or said?
Does anyone whose hopes were fading now with courage look ahead?
Did you waste the day, or lose it? Was it well or poorly spent?
Did you leave a trail of kindness or a scar of discontent?
-Taken from The One Year Alive Devotions for Students
Hoping that I can answer a "Yes" to these questions some day soon. And a trail of kindness too.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
It is Finished!!!!
I mean HMC....I'm done....Finals are over....weee!!!!Hoping I pass all so I can say goodbye to HMC forever...lol...weee!!!!!
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Been a disappointing week for me so far...Constantly failing over and over again...and finally felt as though I just dropped down and died....been really really hard....and frustrating....Somehow things always seem to happen the same way....after a long while of fighting in 1 moment it seems as though I just lose concentration and focus and it all comes tumbling down....
God, I picture You asking Peter if he loved You...three times You asked and three times he replied "Yes, You know I love You". You know I love You too Lord,help me through this.
Exams coming up as well....hope I can concentrate and get my lazy bones off...sigh
God, I picture You asking Peter if he loved You...three times You asked and three times he replied "Yes, You know I love You". You know I love You too Lord,help me through this.
Exams coming up as well....hope I can concentrate and get my lazy bones off...sigh
Sunday, March 28, 2010
In your FACE!!!!!
hehe....CONTRARY TO THE TITLE...I am NOT pissed...it's just that I deactivated my FACEbook account...(ALL puns intended)...Why you ask? I never got the hang of it..and it was getting annoying...for those of you who know me long enough and my issues with cameras and all...yeah...you won't have to ask why it annoys me...haha....anyway...it TRIED to keep me activated...by saying my friends will miss me.....too bad...lol...I won't miss them...coz I don't need facebook to keep in touch with them...so there!
Free!Free!Victor is Free!
Monday, March 22, 2010
Rain
The skies thundered, the lightning roared,
The earth was drenched as water poured,
Bit by bit, with every thought,
Eroded my resolve, my strength, my forte;
All around the earth seemed gray,
As every bitter memory was brought into play,
With no paths out, or easy way,
I challenged God, my heart to say;
"Where are You now, what will You do?
I've lost my way, I feel like a fool,
Are You so cruel to leave me to die,
Have You not heard my soul's desperate cry?
I sang and I prayed,
With painful endurance,
And yet all I'm getting is stony silence,
Are You even listening to what I have to say,
Or am I talking to myself?"
I cried in dismay;
Tears poured forth as I sat there alone,
The cold of the rain, reaching in to my bones,
Despite the shelter from the rain,
Did my car provide,
It could not fully shield me,
From the pain I felt inside;
Resigned to my sadness, I turned my car around,
Heading for home, though comfort may not be found,
I listened intently for however slight a sound,
To be assured of Your presence, Your love without bounds;
I turned to my friends, my last recourse,
For encouragement and comfort,
For which only You are the true source,
And yet You have shown Your Grace in Your own time,
With the sharing of the verse 2 Corinthians 12:9;
Truly I am weak, as my faults clearly show,
Burdened by guilt, by sin brought low,
Reaping the hurts that my actions have sowed,
Experiences too painful for my heart to hold,
Yet there You are, With Your promising truth,
When You said "My grace is sufficient for You",
That in my weakness Your power will be,
Made perfect in my life, for all to see,
So I will boast ever gladly,
Of my weaknesses in me,
So that Your divine power, may rest upon me,
And in times of trouble let this be my song,
"When I am weak, then I am strong".
The earth was drenched as water poured,
Bit by bit, with every thought,
Eroded my resolve, my strength, my forte;
All around the earth seemed gray,
As every bitter memory was brought into play,
With no paths out, or easy way,
I challenged God, my heart to say;
"Where are You now, what will You do?
I've lost my way, I feel like a fool,
Are You so cruel to leave me to die,
Have You not heard my soul's desperate cry?
I sang and I prayed,
With painful endurance,
And yet all I'm getting is stony silence,
Are You even listening to what I have to say,
Or am I talking to myself?"
I cried in dismay;
Tears poured forth as I sat there alone,
The cold of the rain, reaching in to my bones,
Despite the shelter from the rain,
Did my car provide,
It could not fully shield me,
From the pain I felt inside;
Resigned to my sadness, I turned my car around,
Heading for home, though comfort may not be found,
I listened intently for however slight a sound,
To be assured of Your presence, Your love without bounds;
I turned to my friends, my last recourse,
For encouragement and comfort,
For which only You are the true source,
And yet You have shown Your Grace in Your own time,
With the sharing of the verse 2 Corinthians 12:9;
Truly I am weak, as my faults clearly show,
Burdened by guilt, by sin brought low,
Reaping the hurts that my actions have sowed,
Experiences too painful for my heart to hold,
Yet there You are, With Your promising truth,
When You said "My grace is sufficient for You",
That in my weakness Your power will be,
Made perfect in my life, for all to see,
So I will boast ever gladly,
Of my weaknesses in me,
So that Your divine power, may rest upon me,
And in times of trouble let this be my song,
"When I am weak, then I am strong".
Friday, March 19, 2010
Deeper
Take me deeper than I've been before...drown me for all I care..drown me in Your love and Your mercy and the knowledge of knowing more of You...even if it takes the breaking of my very spirit and essence to know Your heart...take me deeper to the deepest depths...I want to know You, to hear Your voice,to feel You more than before....Jesus I want more....
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Dance
Suddenly I just imagined myself dancing...not tango or waltz....and certainly not agogo....but just to be able to move freely in the presence of God, knowing He is there, and just rejoicing and dancing....I'm sure David loved it....and though I might have "2 left feet" when it comes to dancing and footwork...I'd love to dance....yes...I'd love to dance before Him...
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
God, You're just awesome You know that?
God really works in awesome ways....Really He does...When I was confused and down and just lost...He showed me that I was feeling confused and downed etc etc over something that didn't/shouldn't even apply to me...at least not yet....and He did it in the most amazing and unique way...I can't really describe it here...but once again He did it...and I am reminded of the lesson He gave me early this year on the eve of the new year and 1st Jan...that He knows...and He will deliver....
Be everything to me,
Be more than a story,
More than words on a page of history,
Be the air that I breathe,
The water I thirst for,
And the ground beneath my feet,
Be everything to me.
Be more than a story,
More than words on a page of history,
Be the air that I breathe,
The water I thirst for,
And the ground beneath my feet,
Be everything to me.
-Taken and adapted from Everything to Me-Avalon
Monday, March 8, 2010
Simple yet profound
" I look at Him, He looks at me, and we are happy"
-An 18th century Russian peasant when asked why he spent hours on end in the chapel
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Frustration
Desperately, helplessly, longingly I cried;
Quietly, patiently, lovingly God replied.
I pled and wept for a clue to my fate;
And the Master so gently said, "Child, you must wait."
"Wait? You say wait!" my indignant reply;
"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!"
Is Your hand shortened? Or have You not heard?
By faith I have asked, and am claiming Your word.
My future and all to which I can relate
Hangs in the balance, and YOU tell me to WAIT?
I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign,
Or even a 'no' to which I can resign.
And Lord You promised that if we believe,
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
And Lord, I've been asking, and this is my cry:
"I'm weary of asking! I need a reply!"
Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate,
As my Master replied once again, "You must wait."
So, I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut
And grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting.....for what?"
He seemed, then, to kneel, and His eyes wept with mine,
And He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens, and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead, and cause mountains to run."
All you seek, I could give, and pleased you would be.
You would have what you want-But, you wouldn't know Me.
You'd not know the depth of My love for each saint;
You'd not know the power I give to the faint;
You'd not learn to see through the clouds of despair;
You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there;
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me,
When darkness and silence were all you could see.
You'd never experience that fullness of love,
As the peace of My Spirit descends like a dove;
You'd know that I give and I save...(for a start),
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.
The glow of My comfort late into the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight,
The depth that's beyond getting just what you asked,
Of an infinite God, who makes what you have LAST.
You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that "My Grace is sufficient for thee."
Yes, your dreams for your life overnight would come true,
But, oh, the loss! If I lost what I'm doing in you!
So, be silent, My child, and in time you will see,
That the greatest of gifts is to get to know Me.
And though oft' may My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still, "WAIT."
Quietly, patiently, lovingly God replied.
I pled and wept for a clue to my fate;
And the Master so gently said, "Child, you must wait."
"Wait? You say wait!" my indignant reply;
"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!"
Is Your hand shortened? Or have You not heard?
By faith I have asked, and am claiming Your word.
My future and all to which I can relate
Hangs in the balance, and YOU tell me to WAIT?
I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign,
Or even a 'no' to which I can resign.
And Lord You promised that if we believe,
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
And Lord, I've been asking, and this is my cry:
"I'm weary of asking! I need a reply!"
Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate,
As my Master replied once again, "You must wait."
So, I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut
And grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting.....for what?"
He seemed, then, to kneel, and His eyes wept with mine,
And He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens, and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead, and cause mountains to run."
All you seek, I could give, and pleased you would be.
You would have what you want-But, you wouldn't know Me.
You'd not know the depth of My love for each saint;
You'd not know the power I give to the faint;
You'd not learn to see through the clouds of despair;
You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there;
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me,
When darkness and silence were all you could see.
You'd never experience that fullness of love,
As the peace of My Spirit descends like a dove;
You'd know that I give and I save...(for a start),
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.
The glow of My comfort late into the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight,
The depth that's beyond getting just what you asked,
Of an infinite God, who makes what you have LAST.
You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that "My Grace is sufficient for thee."
Yes, your dreams for your life overnight would come true,
But, oh, the loss! If I lost what I'm doing in you!
So, be silent, My child, and in time you will see,
That the greatest of gifts is to get to know Me.
And though oft' may My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still, "WAIT."
Taken from "Perspectives-a spiritual guide for twenty-somethings"
Author Unknown
Re-posted from the blog of my beloved sister
Author Unknown
Re-posted from the blog of my beloved sister
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
That time of the month
Its that time of the month for me....I know what you're thinking and no its not what you're thinking....I am 100% male....sure of that...no doubts whatsoever.....anyway....I find myself goin through a period of time every month or so when I'm put into emotional turmoil....nostalgia and all...just kicks in...like some pre-programmed time when I'm in touch with my emotions and feelings the most...sorta like howling-to-the-moon sorta thing...ah yes....its nice and not so nice...especially when I'm always thinking..always....and watching chinese dramas don't help now either...coz there's always some sad or frustrating love scene between the main actor and actresses...heh...so yeah....its that type of the month again....great....wonderful...ah well...I guess I can be happiest that I'm single now....imagine if there was someone....*shudders*
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Unusual but nice...
I just realised that my family is unusual...during Chinese New Year that is...coz the ang paos that get distributed to the younglings of the family from the adults hold a considerable amount of money....to say the least...more than normal-normal being what people tell me they receive in their ang paos...not that I'm bragging or anything but I really feel lucky and blessed to be part of my family :) Thank You God for such a generous family....
Oh and yeah...don't know if you'll ever see this but Happy 21st Birthday Joycie! :)
Oh and yeah...don't know if you'll ever see this but Happy 21st Birthday Joycie! :)
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Its about F.U.N
I just realised something..(I mean really really just realised it lke a min ago)...that sometimes we forget the idea of fun in what we are doing....seriously...sounds impossible but we do...one very good example is when we meet up for sports and run about the court doing our best to score points...not that it's wrong (we should try to win games) but sometimes we get so focused on winning the game that we forget to have fun....and at the end of it all we go home tired,hungry and thirsty...but when we ask ourselves.."Did I have fun?" sometimes(or most of the time) our answer is no. Not really much of a point in playing a game now is there? I guess I shall try to really have fun the next time round, run around like a crazy chicken and laugh my head off, and try not to give two hoots bout my team getting trashed or winning...I just wanna have fun, and hopefully infect others into having fun as well....
Weeeeeeeeee!!!!!
Weeeeeeeeee!!!!!
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
H.I.N.T.S
Hidden
Impossible
Nonsensically
Tough
Signs
Don't bother dropping me hints...I'll never get them...seriously...I for one prefer honest-to-goodness truths :)
Impossible
Nonsensically
Tough
Signs
Don't bother dropping me hints...I'll never get them...seriously...I for one prefer honest-to-goodness truths :)
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Monday, January 25, 2010
What girls ought to know...
This is a re-post from an entry in my friend's blog (with a few alterations made by yours truly to make it more suitable to my views)
We guys don't care if you talk to other guys.
We don't care if you're friends with other guys. But when you're sitting next to us and some random guy walks into the room and you jump up and talk to him without even introducing us, it annoys us. It also doesn't help if you sit there and talk to him for 10 minutes without even acknowledging that we're still there.
We don't care if a guy calls or texts you, but at 2a.m. in the morning we do get a little concerned. Nothing is that important that it can't wait til the morning.
When we tell you you look nice/beautiful/stunning/pretty we really mean it. Don't tell us we're wrong and deny it; we'll just stop trying to convince you.
One of the most attractive thing about a girl is confidence.
Don't be mad when we hold the door open.
Take advantage of the mood we're in.
Let us pay for you. Don't feel "bad" or "guilty". We want to. It's expected of us. Just smile and say "Thank You".
You don't have to get all dressed up when you're going out. We like girls for who they are and not what they are. We think a girl looks the most beautiful in casual wear and shorts, not high heels and dolled up.
Don't take everything we say seriously. Sarcasm is a beautiful thing. See the beauty in it.
Don't get angry easily.
Stop using magazines/media as your book of life.
Don't talk about how hot Hollywood/Korean/Japanese actors are with us. It's boring and we don't really care. You have girlfriends for that.
If you're not treated right by a guy, don't wait for him to change. Chances are, he most probably won't. Find yourself a better guy who truly cares for you, treats you with respect and honours your values.
Someone who will care for you even when you make mistakes, make you smile when you are at your lowest; someone who will love you no matter how bad you make him feel. Someone who will stop what they're doing and look you in the eyes and say "I love you" and really mean it.
Give the nice guys a chance.
Guys repost this if you agree.
Girls repost this if you think its cute.
P.S. I know this doesn't sound at all like something I would type. Just thought it was quite thoughtful in a way. 1st time for everything huh? ;)
We don't care if you're friends with other guys. But when you're sitting next to us and some random guy walks into the room and you jump up and talk to him without even introducing us, it annoys us. It also doesn't help if you sit there and talk to him for 10 minutes without even acknowledging that we're still there.
We don't care if a guy calls or texts you, but at 2a.m. in the morning we do get a little concerned. Nothing is that important that it can't wait til the morning.
When we tell you you look nice/beautiful/stunning/pretty we really mean it. Don't tell us we're wrong and deny it; we'll just stop trying to convince you.
One of the most attractive thing about a girl is confidence.
Don't be mad when we hold the door open.
Take advantage of the mood we're in.
Let us pay for you. Don't feel "bad" or "guilty". We want to. It's expected of us. Just smile and say "Thank You".
You don't have to get all dressed up when you're going out. We like girls for who they are and not what they are. We think a girl looks the most beautiful in casual wear and shorts, not high heels and dolled up.
Don't take everything we say seriously. Sarcasm is a beautiful thing. See the beauty in it.
Don't get angry easily.
Stop using magazines/media as your book of life.
Don't talk about how hot Hollywood/Korean/Japanese actors are with us. It's boring and we don't really care. You have girlfriends for that.
If you're not treated right by a guy, don't wait for him to change. Chances are, he most probably won't. Find yourself a better guy who truly cares for you, treats you with respect and honours your values.
Someone who will care for you even when you make mistakes, make you smile when you are at your lowest; someone who will love you no matter how bad you make him feel. Someone who will stop what they're doing and look you in the eyes and say "I love you" and really mean it.
Give the nice guys a chance.
Guys repost this if you agree.
Girls repost this if you think its cute.
P.S. I know this doesn't sound at all like something I would type. Just thought it was quite thoughtful in a way. 1st time for everything huh? ;)
Sunday, January 24, 2010
RM12 gone for nothing...
Watched a dumb movie today..waste of rm12...ah not gonna complain..said all I have to say d...let me just give a critical review of it
The horrendous movie I watched is
The horrendous movie I watched is
Legion
Just ur typical God vs. Man end of the world showdown...but it can be described in one word...
Blasphemous
The potrayal of angels was just wrong...and the potrayal of God being less compassionate and more short-sighted than angel Michael is even worse...Wonder what the real angels Michael and Gabriel are thinking...probably shaking their heads or laughing them off....ah well...plenty of action and gore...and bad language...ur typical hollywood movie....horrible in short.
Just when you thought hollywood couldn't amaze you anymore,
they come up with this amazingly twisted and illogical film...
That's hollywood for you, never ceases to amaze.
Just when you thought hollywood couldn't amaze you anymore,
they come up with this amazingly twisted and illogical film...
That's hollywood for you, never ceases to amaze.
My Saviour
Was feeling really really down in the last post...(kinda obvious)....but God was great...once again....showing me that this year He is with me...even when He knows I've done wrong or I'm thinking of doing wrong He takes the time to show me where and how I've gone wrong...and the way to turn around...He has just been awesome and wonderful to me..can never thank Him enough...recently watched a really short video bout what Pastor Sam Evans said about Jesus as a Saviour...it's really meaningful and insightful...its on youtube...go watch if you want...really short video....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1fYLrzgOlxM&feature=related
Thanks again You....I really do appreciate it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1fYLrzgOlxM&feature=related
Thanks again You....I really do appreciate it.
Friday, January 22, 2010
The Unspoken
I've got so many things to say on this post...and yet nothing to say on this post...because I do not want to complain and moan...and yet I really really do...I guess I shall just leave it at that...
Be safe, be well, reader.
Be safe, be well, reader.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Monday, January 18, 2010
My green tortoise....
Got scratched again today...in the HELP parking lot...seriously have to do something bout it coz there's not enough space..so on Mondays when classes start at 11 for me its either risk getting a summon for parking illegally or parking "legally" in the carpark and risk getting my darling tortoise scratched...there goes another rm180....my money's been saying goodbye too often for the past 2 weeks....repair bills keep coming...anyway..the purpose of this entry isn't to complain....its bout something I just realised today....
Before I realised my car got scratched..was on my way home and this song was being played on my cd player...
Before I realised my car got scratched..was on my way home and this song was being played on my cd player...
When I found You,
All became new,
Now I live for You,
Because You saved me,
And You forgave me,
I have been set free,
Everything inside me gives You praise,
For everything You've done in me,
I will sing to You,
And I will worship you,
For everything You are to me,
I will shout Your praise,
And live for You always,
No matter what I go through,
I'll lift my praise up to You,
In everything I will sing,
My praises to the King
All became new,
Now I live for You,
Because You saved me,
And You forgave me,
I have been set free,
Everything inside me gives You praise,
For everything You've done in me,
I will sing to You,
And I will worship you,
For everything You are to me,
I will shout Your praise,
And live for You always,
No matter what I go through,
I'll lift my praise up to You,
In everything I will sing,
My praises to the King
For the benefit of those who don't know the song...its For Everything by Planetshakers...
So I got down the car...and decided to check and see if there was any scratches or whatever on it because I had to park in an "illegal" spot in the carpark..for HELP students you oughta know why la...so yeah...checked and found this awesome-ly large scratch on my JUST PAINTED green tortoise...and was like "What??!!!!!"..Needless to say I was extremely annoyed/angry...and decided to get my car over to a repair shop to see how much it will cost to respray it...AGAIN....and it turned out to be rm180...wow....
The thing is..when I was driving off to the repair shop I played this song again..and while I was singing it oh-so-happily in the car on the way home...I found I couldn't sing it in the same way when I realised my darling got scratched....even though I really tried to sing it and praise God all the same...it just wouldn't be the same as when everything was alright (or at least when I THOUGHT everything was alright)...and that's the thing I just realised....its really very easy to sing and say
So I got down the car...and decided to check and see if there was any scratches or whatever on it because I had to park in an "illegal" spot in the carpark..for HELP students you oughta know why la...so yeah...checked and found this awesome-ly large scratch on my JUST PAINTED green tortoise...and was like "What??!!!!!"..Needless to say I was extremely annoyed/angry...and decided to get my car over to a repair shop to see how much it will cost to respray it...AGAIN....and it turned out to be rm180...wow....
The thing is..when I was driving off to the repair shop I played this song again..and while I was singing it oh-so-happily in the car on the way home...I found I couldn't sing it in the same way when I realised my darling got scratched....even though I really tried to sing it and praise God all the same...it just wouldn't be the same as when everything was alright (or at least when I THOUGHT everything was alright)...and that's the thing I just realised....its really very easy to sing and say
No matter what I go through,
I'll lift my praise up to You,
In everything I will sing,
My praises to the King
I'll lift my praise up to You,
In everything I will sing,
My praises to the King
When things are going great..its a totally different thing to sing the same verse when things are not so great....thinking back...its been quite a mind opening experience for me....made me realise that it's not easy to sing promises to God...because its hard to keep them when things aren't going my way...hmm...food for thought....
And once again...Maybank need not bother paying me interest since there's hardly any currency in my account anyway.....
And once again...Maybank need not bother paying me interest since there's hardly any currency in my account anyway.....
Friday, January 8, 2010
Redemption's Hour
May 13th, 1969 was a dark day in the history of Malaysia;where civilized people who had banded together for a common goal of independence turned on each other with swords and knives...severing ties so hardly fought by our visionary leaders before us who could see a much brighter future for our Malaysia if we but banded together instead of fight individually...they achieved tremendous success..gaining sovereignty for a nation brought under centuries of submission...and the proud nation of Malaysia was born..but it was to be fool's gold...for under its shiny surface was turmoil....and it became ever evident as time passed..Malay's distrusted Chinese, Chinese sneered at Indians, and Indians envied the Malays...a cauldron of malice finally erupting as it overheated on May 13th 1969...Forty years down the long roads of history, the drums of disunity thunder once again....
The appointment of a new prime minister and his visionary campaign of 1Malaysia was seen by some as a glimmer of hope...althought regrettably it was also seen as a fool's attempt and merely the biggest joke in the history of big jokes...a noble attempt by our country's leaders to cement the ever widening gap between our people in this nation...powerful words were spoken...meaningful speeches were given to the masses...and proud propagandas were announced on billboards across the nation...it was a time for unity...it was a time for allegiances to be reformed...it was a time for the Malays,Chinese,Indians and all the other ethnic groups to put aside their differences and come together as one identity, one people, 1Malaysia. It was also a time for madness.
From the cow-head protests to the BTN incident, the year of 2009 has seen more than its fair share of issues. As the new year marks a decade since the memorable year of Y2K, we usher it in with a potentially disastrous incident that could threaten to break the already slim ties that hold our nation together. For years I have grown up being proud when I heard all that the Westerners had to say about our nation;a nation so diverse in culture and yet so united in harmony. It was a proud thing to say that I live in undeniably one of the most varied countries in the world. Sadly, at this moment, I am at a loss for words. I do not know if I can truly say I feel secure in my own country, my home, my "tanah-tumpahnya darahku". Looking at the tense situations all around right now because of the arson incident on churches, I can only help but wonder if all it takes is simply a minor push for the entire nation to descend into a realm of chaos.
The appointment of a new prime minister and his visionary campaign of 1Malaysia was seen by some as a glimmer of hope...althought regrettably it was also seen as a fool's attempt and merely the biggest joke in the history of big jokes...a noble attempt by our country's leaders to cement the ever widening gap between our people in this nation...powerful words were spoken...meaningful speeches were given to the masses...and proud propagandas were announced on billboards across the nation...it was a time for unity...it was a time for allegiances to be reformed...it was a time for the Malays,Chinese,Indians and all the other ethnic groups to put aside their differences and come together as one identity, one people, 1Malaysia. It was also a time for madness.
From the cow-head protests to the BTN incident, the year of 2009 has seen more than its fair share of issues. As the new year marks a decade since the memorable year of Y2K, we usher it in with a potentially disastrous incident that could threaten to break the already slim ties that hold our nation together. For years I have grown up being proud when I heard all that the Westerners had to say about our nation;a nation so diverse in culture and yet so united in harmony. It was a proud thing to say that I live in undeniably one of the most varied countries in the world. Sadly, at this moment, I am at a loss for words. I do not know if I can truly say I feel secure in my own country, my home, my "tanah-tumpahnya darahku". Looking at the tense situations all around right now because of the arson incident on churches, I can only help but wonder if all it takes is simply a minor push for the entire nation to descend into a realm of chaos.
Negaraku,
Tanah tumpahnya darahku,
Rakyat hidup,
Bersatu dan maju,
Rahmat bahagia,
Tuhan Kurniakan,
Raja kita,
Selamat Bertakhta.
Tanah tumpahnya darahku,
Rakyat hidup,
Bersatu dan maju,
Rahmat bahagia,
Tuhan Kurniakan,
Raja kita,
Selamat Bertakhta.
We know this song. We used to sing it every morning. It is the song so deeply etched into the maxim of our brains that it would take an absolute wipe of it to forget this song. And yet, what of this song? Look at the nations around us. We are falling behind in the race to become a truly developed nation. What are the criterias? Money?Resources? Have we not both? What are we lacking? I believe that the very words of our national anthem are screaming it out at us, if only we would take the time off fighting ourselves and listen. Rakyat hidup, bersatu dan maju. That was the dream of our forefathers, and that is the criteria that we need to maju. Go forward. Storm the world and show that we are not a bunch of bickering children. That is a dream. My dream. The dream of a humble Malaysian.
Yes, situations are tense. But now is not the time to point fingers. Do no get me wrong. I am not saying that we should let the perpetrators get away with it. They must be brought to justice. But in all honesty, they have done nothing more than pour oil on the embers that have been there, simmering under the surface for the past four decades. We are Malaysians, and we love our country. Now is the time to show how much we truly love it. While it is important to get to the bottom of this, it is also important to ensure that despite what the unruly throw at us, we can get through it together, not as Christians or Muslims, Chinese, Malay or Indians, but as Malaysians. As one people, one nation. We can ill afford to let our nation be brought down at the hands of sick minded people blessed with the twin gifts of idiocy and short-sightedness. While the authorities handle the issue, as Malaysians our job is to try to make the best out of the situation. Now is the hour for calm. Now is the hour for understanding. Now is the hour for negotiation. Now is the hour for unity. Now is the hour for redemption. We have had the exceptional good fortune of going through a horrible incident forty years ago when the nation was in chaos and yet emerging stronger and more united. Let us not let history repeat itself. This time, we might not be so lucky. Redemption hour comes. A small window. If it is missed, it might never be found again. Will we who love our country not take it?
Yes, situations are tense. But now is not the time to point fingers. Do no get me wrong. I am not saying that we should let the perpetrators get away with it. They must be brought to justice. But in all honesty, they have done nothing more than pour oil on the embers that have been there, simmering under the surface for the past four decades. We are Malaysians, and we love our country. Now is the time to show how much we truly love it. While it is important to get to the bottom of this, it is also important to ensure that despite what the unruly throw at us, we can get through it together, not as Christians or Muslims, Chinese, Malay or Indians, but as Malaysians. As one people, one nation. We can ill afford to let our nation be brought down at the hands of sick minded people blessed with the twin gifts of idiocy and short-sightedness. While the authorities handle the issue, as Malaysians our job is to try to make the best out of the situation. Now is the hour for calm. Now is the hour for understanding. Now is the hour for negotiation. Now is the hour for unity. Now is the hour for redemption. We have had the exceptional good fortune of going through a horrible incident forty years ago when the nation was in chaos and yet emerging stronger and more united. Let us not let history repeat itself. This time, we might not be so lucky. Redemption hour comes. A small window. If it is missed, it might never be found again. Will we who love our country not take it?
Monday, January 4, 2010
You...You....I don't know what to say
Yes!!!3rd day of the year and another gift from God....I got that exemption for pyschology that I had been praying for!!!!after people telling me that I won't get it coz its too different and all...God showed He can decide and do the impossible....Thnak you thank You thank You!!!!1 less subject to take...weee!!!!
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Sentencing
And the court has reached its final verdict...guilty.....Offendant shall spend a month in solitary confinement( home) and is not allowed anywhere else....ah well...expected it....looks like I got time for spring cleaning...
Saturday, January 2, 2010
In awe once again
I had a dream last night...in fact I think I had more than one dream...that my wallet which was lost came back...and was on my table when I woke up....and this morning when I woke up I checked my table and....no wallet...."ah well...it was only a dream..." thought I...and so I freshened up..lamenting over my lost wallet and all its contents...including some notes from friends...and went downstairs...on my way down I stood shocked as I noticed something on the stairs....lo and behold..there was my wallet....Couldn't believe my eyes..stepped down...picked it up and opened it...and everything was there....just the money was gone...but it was a small amount so it didn't really matter....but everything was there..IC,license,atm card...even my dad's credit card....looked up at my maid and asked how it got there...she answered a guy came over this morning and returned it....big sized guy that's probably in late forties..chinese...bless his kind heart...and once again God has shown how amazing He can be....was really a wow-ing experience...and its only the 2nd day of 2010....wonder what else He's gonna do....
Thank you so so so much for saving me the hassle of getting my important documents back...and for showing me that You give 2nd chances....I love You...... =)
P.S: I wonder if my dream that I got away with only minor scolding from my parents will also come true....heh....I hope it does
Thank you so so so much for saving me the hassle of getting my important documents back...and for showing me that You give 2nd chances....I love You...... =)
P.S: I wonder if my dream that I got away with only minor scolding from my parents will also come true....heh....I hope it does
2010...I know You are with me
Its the first day of year 2010...and despite the celebrations I find myself in deep trouble....today has been a testament to the power of God...that He will stop at nothing to bring righteousness and justice....it also serves as a powerful reminder....that God is watching...and He knows...particularly since its the first day of the year...it tells me that God will not let me be when He knows I'm wrong...and that His presence is still strongly here even in the new year...while I'm saddened by what happened...it gives me comfort that He still cares...enough to discipline me
My parents are not at home...and mischief kicked in....I wasn't supposed to be out of the house after 11...but I was....I decided to go out with friends at 9+...and since my parents weren't home I THOUGHT I could come home late.....so I went to a cybercafe....and enjoyed myself.....without apparent thought for God and my parents...and I lost my wallet....that includes my license, IC, ATM card, cash(thank God its not more than RM10), and my dad's credit card. I believe it is no mere coincidence that I lost it...rather divine will that I should not get away with my wrong doings...as a result I had to call my parents and inform them to call the bank, and go to the police station to lodge a report as well as call my bank to cancel my ATM card...also I covered up my story so my parents would not know that I was out late....a deed I deeply regret doing even as I'm typing this entry....
And my God is awesome...no He didn't pull off a last minute miracle and I found my wallet....neither did He reverse time backwards for me....I was and am convicted to reveal the truth to my parents when they get back...and I know full well what is in store for me...and I can only blame myself for it...I accept that responsibility..because I know that is what God wants of me...and He is awesome...why...because the moment I got online and read my friend's blog these words spoke out in her entry....
I thank you Lord...there's nothing else I can say...I'm sorry...for going against You Jesus, and for disobeying my parents...I thank you for I know...that the year 2010 will be a wonderful year...because You cared....You cared enough to discipline me....May folly no longer follow me...May this year be a year in which I will bring honour and glory to Your name...I only pray that You will make me worthy of bringing honour to You.
My parents are not at home...and mischief kicked in....I wasn't supposed to be out of the house after 11...but I was....I decided to go out with friends at 9+...and since my parents weren't home I THOUGHT I could come home late.....so I went to a cybercafe....and enjoyed myself.....without apparent thought for God and my parents...and I lost my wallet....that includes my license, IC, ATM card, cash(thank God its not more than RM10), and my dad's credit card. I believe it is no mere coincidence that I lost it...rather divine will that I should not get away with my wrong doings...as a result I had to call my parents and inform them to call the bank, and go to the police station to lodge a report as well as call my bank to cancel my ATM card...also I covered up my story so my parents would not know that I was out late....a deed I deeply regret doing even as I'm typing this entry....
And my God is awesome...no He didn't pull off a last minute miracle and I found my wallet....neither did He reverse time backwards for me....I was and am convicted to reveal the truth to my parents when they get back...and I know full well what is in store for me...and I can only blame myself for it...I accept that responsibility..because I know that is what God wants of me...and He is awesome...why...because the moment I got online and read my friend's blog these words spoke out in her entry....
Lessons learned in 2009:
my God cares even the slightest details.
my God gives courage to the weak.
my God sustains.
my God provides & is always there when He is called.
my God keeps His promises.
my God listens.
my God speaks.
my God forgives.
my God chooses the weak to accomplish His BIG plans.
my God loves me even when I push Him aside.
my God’s plans are the best & they are final.
my God knows
I thank you Lord...there's nothing else I can say...I'm sorry...for going against You Jesus, and for disobeying my parents...I thank you for I know...that the year 2010 will be a wonderful year...because You cared....You cared enough to discipline me....May folly no longer follow me...May this year be a year in which I will bring honour and glory to Your name...I only pray that You will make me worthy of bringing honour to You.
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