Moved

This blog has been moved to Wordpress at victorgohwengyew@wordpress.com :)

Psalm 19:7-14

The Law of the Lord is perfect,
reviving the soul.
The statutes of the Lord are trustworthy,
making wise the simple.
The precepts of the Lord are right,
giving joy to the heart.
The commands of the Lord are radiant,
giving light to the eyes.
The fear of the Lord is pure,
enduring forever.
The ordinances of the Lord are sure and altogether righteous.
They are more precious than gold, than much pure gold; they are sweeter than honey, than honey from the comb.
By them is your servant warned; in keeping them there is great reward.
Who can discern his errors?
Forgive my hidden faults.
Keep your servant also from willful sins; may they not rule over me.
Then will I be blameless, innocent of great transgression.
May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight,
O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.

Giving Thanks

Most of the time, we as Christians don't give thanks enough. We live blessed lives, filled with what we need and what we want (most of us), that things get taken for granted too easily. As Malaysians, most of us feel that we have a lot to complain about. And here are several of the most common complaints:

1. Bad government- corruption, dirty politicking, unfair policies, racism, etc.
2. Transportation- jammed roads, late trains (the KTM come to mind?), expensive fares
3. Weather- it's always too hot, or too rainy, never "just nice"
4. Economy- things are always too expensive, and getting more so by the day
5. Infrastructure- Bad infrastructure, leading to all sorts of problems (jams, water shortage, flood, power cuts, etc)

All of which are valid complaints, and all of which I have to admit, I too complain about almost on a daily basis. Yet, is complaining all that we can do? What is there to give thanks for? Here are a few simple reminders:

1. At least we HAVE a government, and we can vote (however unfair/fixed you think it is, at least you CAN VOTE)
2. Transportation- We have it. Try walking 5 miles a day to school, then see if you'll complain
3. Weather- We are blessed to not need to freeze our faces off in the winter, or burn ourselves in the summer. We need not suffer droughts (barring certain circumstances), and spring and flowers blooming is year round
4. Economy- We have a relatively stable economy, despite a fluctuating GDP
5. Infrastructure- Hey, at least we have infrastructure to even complain about

Don't get me wrong here, I'm not saying we should just sit back, relax, and accept it all. We need progress, we need better governance, we can improve our GDP, we can improve our infrastructure. Compared to some nations (Korea, Singapore, Japan, China), we are far far behind. We have a lot of room for improvement true, but in our pursuit of improvement and better standards, let us not forget to give thanks as well. Being thankful and grateful doesn't mean being laid-back, and having a need to improve doesn't mean we can complain about all that we have now.

We keep complaining about our situations, and ask God why it doesn't get better. Like kids, we moan and groan, and whine and complain. Think about it. Will God want to give you more, when you can't even give thanks for the things He has given you? It's like a kid who has a toy car, and complains that it's not good enough and wants a helicopter, and leaves the toy car in its corner unused and unappreciated. If you don't give thanks for the things you have right now, and make the most of it (after all, improvement is making the most of what you have to gain a better future), don't expect God to give you bigger things to handle. It doesn't work that way.


The one hero I look up to in terms of complaining is Job. Here was a man who had everything, and I mean EVERYTHING. He had the land, the livestock, a large united family (they often had parties and invited everyone). And in one day, everything was taken from him. His livestock, his family, his possessions. And what was his reply?

"And (Job) said: "Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked I will depart. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised.""- Job 1:21.

What a reply! What humility! What serenity of acceptance! Here was a man who had everything, and had everything taken away from him without rhyme or reason, and he replies in such simple yet profound words, giving praise to the Lord for all He has done. What does the Bible say about him?

"In all this, Job did not sin by charging God with wrongdoing." -Job 1:22.

He DID NOT SIN by CHARGING GOD WITH WRONGDOING. How many times have we done that? How many times have we complained about something to God, get angry over something we can't have, as though it was our right to have it, as though we were fit to demand from our Creator? How many times have we charged God with wrongdoing?

While Job himself complained, he knew to give thanks to God, and not once in his complaints did he ever forget that God was the Creator, and he merely the creation. Not once did he demand that God return to him what was his, or for God to give him more. We have a lot to learn from Job. A whole lot.

Let us learn to give thanks, for the things that we have. God knows what we can handle, and gives to us in proportion to our abilities.

-God, give us the courage to change the things we can, serenity to accept the things we can't, and wisdom to know the difference.-

Help me to love Lord, teach me Your ways,
Help me to love Lord, every single day,

Teach me to love Lord, to love like You do,
Teach me a love Lord, that ever rings true,

Work through my heart Lord, a heart that desires,
For someone to love, to care and hold,
Open my eyes Lord, light up that fire,
To reach out in love, the needy ones to behold,

This is my heart Lord, I offer to you,
My love for today, that went unused,
I offer it to You Lord, to do as You please,
And pray for more Lord, come the morning breeze.

The One Thing

"One thing I ask of the Lord, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to seek Him in His temple." -Psalm 27:4

Recently, I've been led once more on a road of rediscovery. Rediscovering the love of God for me, His never failing faithfulness, and His never ending grace, that after ignoring Him for so long and pursuing after life's empty promises, He is always there waiting with His open arms when I eventually turn back to Him broken and weary. It's been amazing, the love that God has shown.

And yet recently I find myself distracted again, by something. I am all too aware of what that means. When I find that something that catches my eye, I wind up making that a priority, the thing that I want most in my life. Afraid of going down the same path again all too soon, and desperate for something, anything to help, I just cried out "Oh God you know how I feel and what I long for now, help me please."

And He replies with that verse. ONE thing I ask of the Lord, THIS is what I seek, that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life. How amazing the Father's love for us, that He may answer (just in the next moment when I decided to listen to a sermon online)like that, so immediately, so accurately. A reminder of what my ONE thing should be, and that's Him, and ONLY Him.

It is difficult, to really surrender the hearts desires to God, especially since pursuing our desires is something I truly believe in (refer to previous post). Its simple to just give up on a desire, it is difficult to ALTER your desires to desire what GOD desires for YOU, and I struggle with it daily. Everyday its a battle, over the desires of my heart VS. the desires of God. And everyday the battle is long, drawn-out, tiring.

"I want to know Christ and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in His sufferings, becoming like Him in His death..." -Philippians 3:10.

Such a simple prayer, such a hard prayer. To truly know Him, seek His face above all else, and know the fellowship of sharing in His sufferings.

P.S.: Another reminder from God barely 10minutes after the posting of this entry about what I read in my devotional today. "I am the vine, you are the branches. If you remain in me and I remain in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing," -John 15:5. When we acknowledge we cannot do it, and come to the Lord in helplessness, His strength and grace is made perfect in our weakness. Just the perfect answer to my last worry about how difficult it is! Praise the Lord!

There is no force greater than love. It overcomes fear, bolsters courage, dissipates anger, enables forgiveness, and generates will. It is what causes a man to try for the impossible, and achieve the improbable.

The Dangers of Desire

Sometimes I wonder, what is it about desire that makes people cringe? Everyone has their desires, their deep-seated heart longings, yet we frown on those who pursue their desire with reckless abandon, or upon those who voice them out. Don't get me wrong, I'm not condoning the actions of those who go to extreme ends to satisfy their desire, indeed some of the world's most evil deeds were carried out simply because an individual decided to pursue his desire at all costs. Desires can be a dangerous thing if pursued recklessly, or when one pursues a reckless desire. But what of the everyday desires of the ordinary people? Of the heart?

Most of the time, to mention a desire would draw comments and expressions of disapproval, or in the case of children, a wry smile and a shake of the head, in condescension of the naivete of the child. Yet deep down in us, we all have our hidden desires which we long to see fulfilled, accomplished, pursued.

When I was a child I was brought up by my parents with one of life's biggest lessons drilled into my head, that I can't have everything I want in life, that the cookie in that jar is not mine to have, and I should stop whining or griping about it. I agree wholeheartedly with my parent's teaching, that you can't have all that you want in life. Sometimes the jar in the cookie is not yours, and you just have to accept that.

But that should never come in the way of pursuing it. The cookie in the jar may never be yours then, but you will grow up one day, and have the ability to get that cookie. By then, most people have become so accustomed to the idea of not getting what they want, that they don't get what they want, even if they can.

One of the greatest losses in life is the lacking of desire, or of giving it up before even pursuing it.

One of the truth about desires is simple, yet contradictory. Something seems more desirable when we cannot have it, and once you have it, all its seemingly magical qualities are gone, and the item loses its luster. A thing seems the most desirable when we pursue it. Yet once again, it is the journey that seems to bring meaning, and the possession of the object of desire falls secondary. Some people spend their whole lives desiring something, yet die without ever achieving it. While some see it as a waste, I see it as a life full of meaning, that they died having tried to achieve what they wanted.

Unfortunately, in our attempt to keep society in order, and to make sure the economic machine that is life runs smoothly, we are told to never pursue what we want, because if everybody did what they truly wanted to do, the world would be in chaos, and anarchy and mayhem would follow. In the end, we wind up stuck in a world where we work for money to buy the things and follow the paths we want, but spend it instead on things and paths we never wanted.

As is the case with everything human, there is a dark side to every construct, and desires are no different. The dangers of desire are clear; it can lead a man down a path of insanity. There is a term in Islam called the Zahir, which basically means something that enraptures the heart and mind of a man that he is compelled to pursue it, to go after it. It becomes his obsession, his life. This is when desires become dangerous, when we become so lost in our desires that we lose sight of who we are, or where we are headed.

Yet the irony of it all is that desires are precisely the things that give us direction. Whether a desire for material things, or a desire for the immaterial (God, heaven, a relationship), it all compels us to move in a direction.

Desires are unavoidable, and compels us as humans to move, to feel, to be alive. A life without desires would not be a life without worries or lacking, but a life void of meaning, life, love.

Yes, desires are dangerous. They can drive a man to insanity, they can ruin the whole functioning mechanic that is life.

Yet, desires are important. And one should never live without chasing one's desires because of fear, fear of failure, fear of never obtaining our desire, or the fear that, having achieved the object of our desire, to find that it was never as great as we thought it would be. After all, it is the journey that matters, the longing and compelling of desire that pulls us along its path to its goal. That gives us life, that gives us meaning.

Embrace the everyday desires of the heart. Pursue it, live it.

*I understand that some desires are best not left pursued, and by writing this I am in no way saying we should pursue every desire of our hearts. But to live a life where we choose to not pursue something whole and good simply because we are afraid, would be a massive waste. May we never live in regret because of that.*

*The author's views are purely his own, and open to debate. Please do not take every word without careful thinking on your part.*

Carpe Diem

Carpe Diem, seize the day,
Take every moment that comes your way,
Be it pleasant or a cloud of gray,
Carpe Diem, seize the day.

Carpe Diem, seize the day,
Even when the path of life leads you astray,
Walk on in courage, forge the way,
Carpe Diem, seize the day.

Carpe Diem, seize the day,
Live it to the fullest like an actor in a play,
Embrace the joy of giving, or life's painful flay,
Carpe Diem, seize the day.

Carpe Diem, seize the day,
Lest you end it in dismay,
Treasure every moment like its your last day,
Carpe Diem, seize the day.

When You Were There

Life was a challenge, every single day,
Every step I took, down every other way,
I journeyed down paths, at times turning back,
To try another one, while trying to keep track,

Of all the things I have been through, and all the things I've yet to do,
Of every thing I said, and every promise made,

At times it seemed I bit off more than I could chew,
As opportunities before me evaporated like the morning dew,
I ran to try and grasp them all,
In my rush, only to slip and fall,

Yet there always seemed a strength in me,
A voice that said "Just try again,"
When the darkness of life was all I could see,
You encouraged me though my will was faint,

The thought of you galvanizes my heart,
Heping me push through my distraught,
Because I know that if I pull through,
I'd be someone who is worthy of you,

When life's troubles grasp at me,
When the arms of anguish snap at my heels,
I'll shake off the shackles and break free,
I'll scale that hill, and there you'll be,
Waiting as ever, waiting for me,

And though the clouds of rain and storm,
Obscure your countenance, albeit never for long,
I'll step forth in faith, and push on in hope,
Through the darkest of nights, to the morning dawn,

I'll carry my burdens, my issues I'll bear,
I'll stand defiant, because of you, I dare,
I took on the world without a worry or a care,
When I knew in my heart that you were there.

Of Bees(Honey) and Idols

He ran. Across the massive hallway, through the corridors of Vita, he ran. Doors appeared on the left and right, promising escape from his turmoil. He opened them, and experienced what it had to offer, in the hope of finding one which would offer him the sweet release of peace, love, belonging. But every door he opened seemed to lead him further away from what he craved. Undeterred, he continued on, opening door after door, and running through it only to find another. Deep inside, a voice that once seemed familiar called out, "Champion, return to me." Ignoring the voice, he kept up his pursuit. Suddenly, he found himself distracted by an Idol that seemed to take hold of his entire being, promising him the happiness he was looking for. He would not rest until he found that Idol, and savoured what it had to offer.

As he opened yet another door, he found himself standing in a large room, more lost than he could ever imagine. The voice called out again, "Champion, return to me." But it was lost to his ears, as in front of his eyes, in the middle of the room, a jar appeared, and hovering atop it, a bee. Breathless from his chase, and enraptured by the sight of the jar, he took several shaky steps toward it. The bee continued hovering above it, providing a clue as to the contents of the seemingly simple yet elegant and beautiful jar. He stepped up to it, and his suspicions were confirmed. In the jar, filled to the brim, was honey. Pure and golden, still and undisturbed. The bee noticed his presence, but did nothing to stop him from taking the honey. If anything, the bee itself seemed inexplicably tied to the jar, as if it and the honey were one and the same. He knew then, that he had to taste it. He stepped closer, and reached out a hand...

The Idol called out to him, warning him against it. He knew that to have one would mean to forsake the other, and for a moment, he hesitated. The bee, seemingly realizing his doubts, seemed to encourage him further, buzzing gently on top of the jar, producing a sound that soothed his emotions. The jar seemed to expand and contract before his eyes at the same time, the honey looking sweeter than ever. Tossing his worries to the wind, he reached out for the jar.

"Champion!". The voice inside him boomed aloud, and he whirled around, to see the face of magnificence standing behind him. It was Erus. "Touch not that jar, and forsake the voice of the Idol. It will only lead you to empty promises, before destroying you in the end. Return to me." Images flashed before his eyes, images from his past, from a time that seemed too long ago. He saw himself, broken and defeated, chained in the lair of Umbra, unable to escape, unable to die. Erus had saved him then, seemingly giving Himself up for his freedom, then appearing to him again when he had escaped into the wilderness. He had given him his freedom, and initiated him into His order then. A champion.

"I saved you then because I had more in mind for you than this", Erus said. "There is much more for you to do, much more in your life for you to fulfill, for if you partake of that Jar, you will surely die". It was then that he saw, that the jar and the bee were indeed one and the same. And that by partaking of the honey he would taste immense sweetness, but also be exposed to the venom of the bee's sting. "Return to me my Champion. You have heard my call, and have ignored it. You have went on your own search for happiness, when you should have known that happiness is only a call away. Remember the heights from where you have fallen! Return, and do the things you did at first. Or I will remove your name from the Book of the Order, unless you return. Yet, for you, I have devised all of this to show you that whatever you do would be in vain, if it were without me. I have allowed your travails, to show you that there is only one life, one love, and one promise. Return to me, for long have I waited for this day, when my calls would not fall on deaf ears, and my love, on a hardened heart."

He fell to his knees then, weeping in despair. He had searched for happiness, for love and for belonging, and every door seemed to offer him an aspect of it, but never the fullness of it all. He had searched in vain for the Idol, knowing full well that it had to offer was only a pale comparison of what he needed. He had wanted the honey, knowing full well that the bee's sting would very well kill him. He remembered how he had turned his back on Erus, utterly forsaking His calls, and deafening himself to His whispers. He had forsaken the one who had saved him, and had left to find his own happiness, to be his own master. He remembered the times when he contemplated returning, but had deceived himself with the lie that Erus would not give him a second chance, despite knowig that Erus would always open the gates to a Champion if only he was willing to return. Guilt gnawed at his soul, and he cried in desperation. "Forgive me master. I have strayed far from you,"

Suddenly, a hand reached out, and lifted him off his kness. He looked up and beheld the face of Erus, and he felt what it was that he was looking for. "You know that I have already forgiven you," Erus said. "Come now my Champion, let us go home. I have prepared a feast for you, and your brothers and sisters will rejoice at your return, as I do,"

He held the outstretched hand of Erus, and his surroundings began to blur as Erus took them both home. And while the call of the Idol and the Honey were still audible in his ears, and tugged at his heart, he knew that he had found what he was looking for. Nothing else mattered as long as he was with Erus. He was loved. He was home.

Resurgence

Decided to revive my blog again, rather than posting random thoughts from a car drive on Facebook. I shall endeavor to post an entry as often as possible from now on. To pen down my thoughts for future references, or for YOU, whoever you may be.

I believe in You

Finally, back blogging again. Been lazy for a really long time, but figured that with my semester being this insane, (3 subs in 7 weeks, student council election campaign, cell-group coordinator), I would need an outlet to just blabber it all out before I go insane. Anyway, I'm not here to complain, neither did I make this blog for complaints.

The reason I'm here is because of a revelation I just had. My music player was on shuffle, and the song To The Ends Of The Earth by Hillsongs was playing in my head. Just then the lyrics of "Jesus I believe in You" came, and that line hit my like a thunderbolt.

For weeks now I've been struggling with my emotions, of trying to let go yet not wanting to. I've resorted to praying and praising every time it feels like my heart is wanting to go its own way, thanking God and praising Him for He cares for me and wants the best for me. And that line struck me right in the heart, Jesus I believe in You.

It's so easy to sing it, but so difficult to live it out when I think about it. If I were to believe in Him, that would mean that I would have to let go once and for all of my emotions and desire, believing that He knows best for me and that He has better ideas. I knew that all this while, but when I had to sing those words, it rammed home the true "sacrifice" I'd have to make. Note that I actually wrote it as "sacrifice", because in the long run, it wouldn't be a sacrifice at all. Giving up something because I know God has something better isn't exactly sacrifice, not really I think, although right now it certainly feels that way.

Jesus I believe in You, and I would go to the ends of the earth for You.