Today God made me realise something...the very thing that bothered me was the very thing that bothered Him...how many times have I given Him the same reply...."im too busy" or sometimes not even a reply at all...and when I need help its always "God...I need this this this and this....oh yeah...and this too". How ironic....I guess God feels it even more because He created me...I mean...my whole life should be nothing but talking to Him if He wants it....and yet...I don't....and even worse...I sin against Him....as if I'm testing to see if the lightning bolt really will come one day....It's truly a testament of God's Grace that it hasn't come...and when I've done every wrong thing I could....He shows me in camp that I can come home to Him....through a parable that I've knwon almost my entire life....The Prodigal Son....but in a whole new perspective....truly He has been gracious....beyond belief,beyond what I deserve....God...You are amazing...awe-inspiring....and I am sorry for taking so long to realise that You will never forsake me....even when I've turned around and took You for granted...even deliberately going against You, testing Your patience and stretching Your never ending Grace....forgive me....all I can really say is I'm sorry....and thank you...I wish I could say more...so much more...but I just don't have the words....thank you for the awesome redepmtion on that cross....and the awesome encouragement You sent my way...to show me that if I'm ready to change, You are ready to help me....I ask and pray with all my heart that I will not fall into the same pit I fell into....and I ask nothing more than to be able to walk with You all the days of my life....
Thanks You....I'm amazed...
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
"Im busy...talk to you later? =)"
Finally decided to just blurt out something that has been bothering me for quite some time....its about.....friends.....
Phone call....Toot...Toot....Picks up phone...
"Hi!It's been soo long!Just called to ask how you were....so...how are you recently?"
"Hey!Yeah I've been fine....getting used to life....You?How are your college days?"
"Oh me?well...been hard...to adapt and all..missed you guys....wish we could hang out more often..."
"Yeah me too....hey...i gotta go now okay....kinda busy...call u back later?Bye!"
Yeah....familiar?thats whats been bothering me....okay...here's scenario 2...
*SMS* Toot Toot
"Hey!Havent seen/talked to you in a while..how have you been?"
"Hello!I've been fine!You?"
"Me?Oh im doing great..its nice to learn and experience new stuff..."
*waits...waits...waits....waits...finally realises that there's no reply....and there's not going to be one anytime soon...
*Says to self* "Oh well...I guess he/she is busy....thats that...maybe some other time..."
Yes....truth be told...it bothers me.....A LOT.....I don't know why but it just does....why? Well, I guess its because me being who I am...it's hardly ever easy for me to form close friendships...and when I do form them...I really want to be able to keep them alive...to be able to meet a close friend and feel that we were never seperated...that we would never go far from each other...and worse of all...that we would never ever say "oh...we used to be close...back in school..."
I believe friendships take effort to keep alive...thats why friends so often meet up like monthly just to keep in touch....but close friends...well...should that not require more effort?
"They have their own lives to live ma...cant expect them to keep talking to u and telling u everything right..."
"Maybe they really are busy leh....."
"People change...things change...we're not in high school anymore....we all have new friends...we all have new lives to live...so go find new friends lor..."
Thats what I hear....Personally....I don't believe a word of it...Friends are not just for company through a phase of life..and when u enter a new phase you go find new ones....don't get me wrong...I'm not against friend-making...I myself have a new bunch of friends in college...but thats just it.....we call them friends...not acquaintances..and there's a MAJOR difference to that....
I guess I'm old fashioned...call me that...call me antique...call me hard-headed or sentimental....I don't much care now....All I care about is this..."How are my friends now?And are they really that busy?Is it too much to ask, to just catch up on a regular basis...to tell them how your week went?to complain and just simply bawl out at them when you need to?"
I do not ask for the world...neither do I ask for their world...All I ask is five minutes....or just a simple chat....It would seriously make my day....sadly, it isn't really the case right now...I guess there is a whole lot of truth in the Bible when it says there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother...Jesus...it didn't say friends...it said A friends...coz as humans....we really can't do that....but we can try can we not?Sometimes the smile on the end of an SMS and the "Take care and God bless" at the end of our calls are really used too casually..do we actually mean them?
Sometimes we concentrate too much on making a living for ourselves that we forget to LIVE in it...we are constantly in the hurry of life that we rush past the very things in our life that are worth more than what we are chasing after....out of the 6 (now approaching 7) billion people in the earth...you had the chance (surely ordained by God) to meet and develop a relationship with that ONE unique friend...should we not treasure it?We all seemingly need extra time...but all the time in the world, if used sparingly just to save more, is it then useless?
I do not mean anything hurtful in this post...and I do not specify neither do I intend to deliberately hurt anyone....It's just an honest answer to myself about how I feel....I do sincerely apologize if in any event, it does hurt....
Take care and God bless...
Your friend
Phone call....Toot...Toot....Picks up phone...
"Hi!It's been soo long!Just called to ask how you were....so...how are you recently?"
"Hey!Yeah I've been fine....getting used to life....You?How are your college days?"
"Oh me?well...been hard...to adapt and all..missed you guys....wish we could hang out more often..."
"Yeah me too....hey...i gotta go now okay....kinda busy...call u back later?Bye!"
Yeah....familiar?thats whats been bothering me....okay...here's scenario 2...
*SMS* Toot Toot
"Hey!Havent seen/talked to you in a while..how have you been?"
"Hello!I've been fine!You?"
"Me?Oh im doing great..its nice to learn and experience new stuff..."
*waits...waits...waits....waits...finally realises that there's no reply....and there's not going to be one anytime soon...
*Says to self* "Oh well...I guess he/she is busy....thats that...maybe some other time..."
Yes....truth be told...it bothers me.....A LOT.....I don't know why but it just does....why? Well, I guess its because me being who I am...it's hardly ever easy for me to form close friendships...and when I do form them...I really want to be able to keep them alive...to be able to meet a close friend and feel that we were never seperated...that we would never go far from each other...and worse of all...that we would never ever say "oh...we used to be close...back in school..."
I believe friendships take effort to keep alive...thats why friends so often meet up like monthly just to keep in touch....but close friends...well...should that not require more effort?
"They have their own lives to live ma...cant expect them to keep talking to u and telling u everything right..."
"Maybe they really are busy leh....."
"People change...things change...we're not in high school anymore....we all have new friends...we all have new lives to live...so go find new friends lor..."
Thats what I hear....Personally....I don't believe a word of it...Friends are not just for company through a phase of life..and when u enter a new phase you go find new ones....don't get me wrong...I'm not against friend-making...I myself have a new bunch of friends in college...but thats just it.....we call them friends...not acquaintances..and there's a MAJOR difference to that....
I guess I'm old fashioned...call me that...call me antique...call me hard-headed or sentimental....I don't much care now....All I care about is this..."How are my friends now?And are they really that busy?Is it too much to ask, to just catch up on a regular basis...to tell them how your week went?to complain and just simply bawl out at them when you need to?"
I do not ask for the world...neither do I ask for their world...All I ask is five minutes....or just a simple chat....It would seriously make my day....sadly, it isn't really the case right now...I guess there is a whole lot of truth in the Bible when it says there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother...Jesus...it didn't say friends...it said A friends...coz as humans....we really can't do that....but we can try can we not?Sometimes the smile on the end of an SMS and the "Take care and God bless" at the end of our calls are really used too casually..do we actually mean them?
Sometimes we concentrate too much on making a living for ourselves that we forget to LIVE in it...we are constantly in the hurry of life that we rush past the very things in our life that are worth more than what we are chasing after....out of the 6 (now approaching 7) billion people in the earth...you had the chance (surely ordained by God) to meet and develop a relationship with that ONE unique friend...should we not treasure it?We all seemingly need extra time...but all the time in the world, if used sparingly just to save more, is it then useless?
I do not mean anything hurtful in this post...and I do not specify neither do I intend to deliberately hurt anyone....It's just an honest answer to myself about how I feel....I do sincerely apologize if in any event, it does hurt....
Take care and God bless...
Your friend
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