Piano.....Piano....Piano

Really really really really REALLY regret I didn't learn piano when I was much much much younger...guess its a lil too late to start now...but seriously wondering how come I didn't see the appeal of it when I was younger..and regret why my parents didn't force me to learn it like they did with my sisters....But guess it's not their fault....I used to think that piano is weird...well...for a guy at least...now I think its so stereotypical...pianos aren't just for girls...its a great instrument that can be played by both guys and girls...oh well....I guess that's the price you pay for being stereotypical and lazy....but when I hear the piano....especially the piano intro for the song How I Love You in the new Beautiful Saviour album I just bought...its simply awesome....how I wish i could sit there and just play my heart out....for all of you guys and girls who can play the piano...keep it up...its a gift that some people will never have...its a great instrument and a great priviledge to play it....no matter how hard the lessons are....it's all worth it in the end...when you can play really well...it's really worth the time and effort spent....so don't ever give up on the piano k...I guess I'm stuck with the next best thing..my guitar...it's a good instrument as well...and I plan to keep learning and trying...but I still feel sorry that I didn't learn the piano at an early age...sigh...guitars just can't seem to match the melody of the piano...nothing can...sigh

Disappointed

Sigh...got my results for psychology quiz 6 and 7 today..didn't do as well as I hoped...was a major let down for me...coz I really wanted to keep my track record perfect...now its gone....aah...why didn't I do better...I should have done better....but guess there's no turning back now..I can't help but feel that apart from letting myself down, I let my lecturer down..and that's even worse...coz right on quiz day she expected so much from me and my team..and at the end our results weren't the best...sigh....majority of it was my fault..if only I'd thought carefully before answering few questions..and if only I listened to the opinions of one of my group members...then we wouldn't have made those few mistakes...I wouldn't have made those few mistakes..well...too late to turn back now...can't remember ever feeling this disappointed over academics...its even worse than my physics trial last year...I guess its coz I really set myself a high standard for psychology...and I was so happy that I managed to keep that standard...well..until today at least....still...should be thankful for my results..might not be what I wanted..but it was still a good result..will just have to keep telling myself that until I accept it...sooner or later....but seriously...everytime I remember the results of those 2 quizzes I feel disappointed with myself...and my lecturer's words keep ringing in my head..that she expects that quiz of mine to be the sample paper for the class...but it wasn't at the end...wonder if she was surprised as to my results...although my team members are overjoyed at the results....


Well, at least the cds I ordered finally came today..that brightened up my day somewhat....seriously..Planetshakers Acoustic album Beautiful Saviour is nice..somewhat quieter...old songs..but in a nicer more soothing way of playing....

God...help me to be thankful for my results...not to be too disappointed with myself..and to try harder next time....

Emo-ism:A point of view

Every teenager with unstable hormones is doing it...commonly known as emo-ing...its almost a ritual,a rite of tradition that is performed by teens from the age of 13(earliest) and 20(late teens)...anyone still frequently emo-ing after the age of 21....note the word FREQUENTLY...is a lil messed up in the head..but for us teens..its more or less a right..but have we ever wondered why we like to do it? is there a purpose for it?does it make our life more interesting?

People emo for different reasons....relationships being among the top reasons....some emo because of relationships that could have been, some emo coz of relationships that were...some emo becoz of relationships that they are trying to make happen...

And yet some emo coz of problems...with studies,family,personal life, you name it they have it...

And the stranger still..emo becoz they just like to be emo-fied...these people are....emotional to say the least....

However, it is undeniable that we as teenagers all go through this stage of emo-ness....we wouldn't be teens if we don't have any emo phases...majority of it is because we are unconsciously trying to find a way that we fit into society..to find our true path of life and the place in the huge puzzle that we belong..so to speak...and in doing that we most often make mistakes,be it in decisions or relationships...thus..the emo-ness....another major part is hormones...but that is just too much biological jargon that I shall not speak much of it...

So, question is...do we as teenagers enjoy being emotional? I personally think the honest answer to that question is YES....we enjoy being emotional..to just sit down in a quiet corner and listen to songs that relate to our feelings....which are.....emo songs....I guess its one of the most common ways we use to pass time...somehow when you're emo-ing..time seems to fly..well..for some at least...some others can be emo for like...ever....they just don't seem to want to snap out of it..either that or they are so lost in emotional irrationality that they are trapped there...and will most probably need a slight knock with a sledgehammer to get them back to their senses....

But I guess that's why teenagers also have a load of friends..friends who can emo with you...who can understand why you emo...and even some who will wake you up when they have felt that you have been emo-ing way too much...although the last particular breed of friends are dying out...most of them actually join you in your emo-fying...(ever notice how some people start crying just because they see their friends cry?you get my point)..so you both form a depressed party...oh joy...a straightforward case of the blind leading the blind? probably so...

However,it is also acceptable to be emotional..even the most rational teen cannot control his/her emotions...and at one point or other, those blooming emotions brought on by something called puberty is bound to affect life in one way or other...so teenagers DO have the rights to be emo...its more like a way of nature....

"I cannot control my emotions" is the reply most teens give when questioned about why they are so emo over petty matters like:
1.No girlfriend/boyfriend all my life
2.I like that girl/guy, but he/she don't like me
3.I got problems with myself/family/friends
4.My boyfriend/girlfriend doesn't care about me(this assumption is usually drawn just becoz the bf/gf missed ONE date or was too tired to return a call or sms)

True, it is hard to control your emotions...after all...we are born human..and are equal parts emotional as rational...although for some people..its about 70/30 in favour of emotions....however, we often miss out on one important point, that while we cannot control our emotions, neither should we let our emotions CONTROL US....we are young adults, and we want society to acknowledge us and treat us as such...but before they can discard their view of us as children, we must first show them that we are no longer childish...we cannot expect society to treat us with the respect adults require..if we ourselves are acting like spoilt brats, whining and crying over small issues, and basically living life in a permanent emo-state...with our eyes fixed on the ground below us that we miss out on all the good things in life...Our emotions are a large part of us, but it is not EVERYTHING about us...we are still governed and ruled by our principles, rational thoughts, and decisions..and as adults we are expected to make those decisions with careful thinking...and that requires rationality..something we cannot have when we are emo-fying ourselves away...

So, while it is normal to be emotional for teens...we must also set boundaries, to know when is the right time, and when is the time when being emo won't help a single bit, and that the time for feeling like a sad,sorry soul is long past....when we carry on being emotional about the past, we forget to enjoy our present, and we will lose sight of our future, a future that is brimming with better opportunities and brighter chances....wake up if you want people to stop treating you like kids...and don't expect anybody to treat you like an adult if you feel that you are alright to be emo all the time...

That being said however,it is alright to spend some time being emotional...after all...emo doesn't necessarily mean bad..you can be totally in love,swept of your feet..and its also called emo...or you can be ecstatic...happy for any reason, and it is also referred to as being emo...or, (the most common one), you can be in the mood for love...and it is also referred to as emo....mind you..you are not in love..you are just in the mood for it...how you ask? well..if you are listening to love songs for no apparent reason, enjoying the words...and singing along as loudly as you can..without giving a hoot as to how out of tune your singing can be...then my friend, you are in the mood for love...it is pleasurable...but never ever let it get in the way of doing what you have to do...other stuff are more important in life than being emotional...so emo-fy yourselves silly,in a healthy way such as this..but only when you have some free time eh? ;)

So I guess that being emo is a teen thing..but there are 2 types of emo..make sure you get invovled in the right type..the healthy type..and don't go walking around thinking the whole world owes you something..coz it definitely doesn't...get over yourself if you are feeling negatively emo...it does you no good...and this world doesn't revolve around you...you are just a part of it..but whether or not you are a good part,an important and contributing part or a part which others would be happy to be rid off..is all up to you....

In truth, I have been emo these few days...hehe...in the love mood..I know...weird huh...haha..rest assured...for my friends who are girls and are reading this post..I'm not about to ask you out for a date or to ask you to be my life partner..haha...but its been fun... :)
I shall share some of the emo love/non-love songs I've been listening to:

1.Could It Be-Christy Carlson Romano(awesome girl)
2.Why Don't You Kiss Her?-Jesse McCartney(awesome guy)
3.Because You Live-Jesse McCartney
4.Love Will Find A Way-Disney-The Lion King II(awesome song/movie)
5.My Funny Friend And Me-Sting-Emperor's New Groove(awesome song/movie)
6.On My Way-Brother Bear-Phil Collins(awesome singer/song)
7.Look Through My Eyes-Phil Collins(you should really listen to this)
8.You'll Be In My Heart-Phil Collins(this too)
9.At The Beginning-Anastasia(Disney)-Richard Marx and Donna Lewis(awesome duet)
10.True To Your Heart-Mulan-98Degrees and Stevie Wonder

These 10 songs have been my companions these 2 days..haha....great songs...I know they're not famous..and not the most popular songs or singers....but hey..who cares?they're good..and that's all that matters :)

Take Care people, Don't be too emo!!!
God bless you all

Take A Look Through My Eyes

Lyrics | Phil Collins - Look Through My Eyes lyrics

Awesome song by Phil Collins..enjoy :)

Malfunctioning Biological Clock

woke up at 1.30pm today...felt as tho half my day was wasted..and I actually thought..."I shall just go to sleep now instead of staying up....so I can wake up early the next morning..." wake up early indeed.....I don't know the exact time that i slept last night..but was earlier than normal nights...and I woke up so freaking late...my biological clock is seriously messed up....or something psychologists would refer to as the Circadian Rhythm....haha...yes yes...again with the Psychology.... guess my body needed the rest to recuperate after a hectic first week of college....I'm more or less a bag of scratches nd bruises and muscle and joint aches..haha...i sound old...or like I just came back from war or something...I guess after all the sleeping late and waking early for college..my body finally decided to catch up with all the sleep it missed out....and woke me up ever-so-late today...I think...I shall go out...somewhere...anywhere....but I got nobody to accompany me...haha...all living so far far far away....I shall just go laze around and rest somemore then....

-Gone-

Amazing Grace

Amazing Grace,how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me,
I once was lost,but now am found,
Was blind but now I see,

'Twas Grace that taught my heart to fear,
And Grace,my fears relieved,
How precious did that Grace appear,
The hour I first believed,

My Chains are gone,
I've been set free,
My God my Saviour,
Has ransomed me,

And like a flood,
His mercy reigns,
Unending Love,
Amazing Grace,


The Lord has promised good to me,
His word my hope secures,
He will my Shield and Portion be,
As long as life endures.

The Earth shall soon dissolve like snow,
The Sun forbear to shine,
But God who called me here below,
Will be forever mine.

Sigh....God...I'm sorry for all the things I've done wrong..help me to remember this song...and to mean it with all my heart..help me to remember that You gave Your life for me, to save me from my own sins and actions, and that nothing is worth losing the freedom that You have bought for me at such a great price...forgive me for taking Your Everlasting Mercies for granted, and for forgetting that You are also a God of wrath, a God who will discipline His children if they go the wrong way....Forgive me Father,for the things that I have done, and for my lapses and mistakes in judgement...May Your Amazing Grace be my salvation....Amen

Psychologically Addicted

I LOVE MY GENERAL PSYCHOLOGY CLASS!!!!lol...I know...it sounds weird...a person actually loving class??!!yeah..that's what happens when u attend General Psychology classes..it does things to you....lol....no la...just kidding..but seriously...I absolutely love that class..its THE MOST FUN class I've had since high school ended...lol..I guess its coz I personally have a really strong interest in Psychology...coupled to that is an AWESOME lecturer...Miss Winnie Cheong is her name...and she is absolutely hilarious...haha...don't get me wrong..she's not all laugh and no teach...she can really teach you a thing or two about psychology..but she's really good at not making the class serious and boring..but she's strict as well...which is why I seriously admire her..she can be super funny and yet at the same time demand a certain amount of respect from you..at the beginning of the semester I was kinda worried that I would be disappointed...coz I never learned anything bout Psychology other than whatever I found out in magazines and articles..but never a proper lesson on psychology..so even though I had an interest in it I was afraid I might get bored if the lectures were boring and I would lose interest in Psychology altogether....from the first lecture I had with her I knew I'd never get bored...haha...she makes lessons so funny and interesting...exciting as well..all those Pop Quizzes given without a single word of warning...hehe...that is just sooo much fun...(I sound like a psychopath now...actually ENJOYING pop quizzes)...haha..anyway...this has only boosted my interest in Psychology..and I really hope I'll get her again for my other Psychology classes in the future semesters...or some other awesome lecturer...haha...she teaches really fast tho...and talks faster than me...well..almost faster than me...give or take a few words...hehe....

Really thank God for an awesome lecturer that makes lessons so interesting..even my English lecturer is awesome..though honestly I prefer my Psychology 1 more...haha...but thankful for both of them...they made the perfect start to a semester...and their subjects are the only two for this semester..so I'm enjoying each and every class I have...weeee..... :)

General Psychology Rocks!!!!

Vague and Confusing

I dont know what to name this post....I feel so heavy right now...somehow recently, I just dont know how to react when faced with certain situations...and I just stumble past them awkwardly...but Im kinda tired of that...I just want to be carefree...enjoying the moment...but it seems...difficult..I dont really know whats happening..but the awkwardness of the situation is wearing me out...its just a little hard to relax...somehow I dont seem to be able to enjoy and just be happy...its so hard...and I dont really know why either...I myself am not exactly sure what Im actually feeling..whether sad or just frustrated and tired...I guess its a portion of all three...Its funny..coz the more I seem to try the harder it seems to get..its like...unnatural...the awkwardness...its shouldnt be there....and its not natural..but yet its there...and Im not sure what's causing it...I only know that its there...and there seems to be nothing that I can do to remove it...sigh...sound so emo now...This blog is really vague...maybe its because I myself am vague about the situation...and confused...I think i shall name this entry after these two characteristics....

God, I dont know how to deal with this feeling....Its as tho I'm hitting into a wall everytime I try...I guess even if I cannot explain what Im feeling, You already know...I'm tired of stumbling past situations awkwardly...and yet I dont know how else to do it...help me.....Restore it to its proper place.and preserve it for all time...this is all I ask...

Awesome-ness

hmm...since I have a lil free time on my hands...I shall make a list of all the awesome worship songs I've heard so far...may leave out a few..cant possibly remember all..but I shall name all of them that I can remember and look up for now...they're great songs...and have been a great enouragement to me..so I like them...if you dont, then well....hehe...you get the point...these songs are not in order...its just a list.by the way..feel free to tell me what other songs you find nice...and I shall see if i know them..and shall add them onto the list..hehe....so...lets see now... :

1.In The Highest-Planetshakers-Free
2.Saving Grace-Planetshakers-Free
3.I Need You-Planetshakers-Free
4.Amazing Grace-Chris Tomlin-See The Morning
5.How Can I Keep From Singing-Chris Tomlin-See The Morning
6.In Christ Alone-Brian Littrell
7.Glory In The Highest-Chris Tomlin-See The Morning
8.All Of My Days-Planetshakers-Rain Down
9.Fall In This Place-Planetshakers-Pick It Up
10.Beautiful Saviour-Planetshakers-Pick It Up
11.All That I Want-Planetshakers-All That I Want
12.All Im Living For-Planetshakers-Always And Forever
13.Set Me Free-Planetshakers-Arise
14.How I Love You-Planetshakers-My King
15.Worship You Alone-Planetshakers-Pick It Up
16.Take Me-Planetshakers-Saviour Of The World
17.Desert Song-Hillsong United-This Is Our God
18.This Is Our God-Hillsong United-This Is Our God
19.Made Me Glad-Hillsong-Ultimate Worship
20.Who Am I-Casting Crowns
21.Everlasting God-Chris Tomlin-See The Morning
22.Deeper-Hillsong United-Look To You
23.Awesome God-Hillsong United-Look To You
24.None But Jesus-Hillsong-Mighty To Save
25.Hosanna-Hillsong United-All Of The Above
26.Everything That Has Breath-Parachute Band-All The Earth
27.All The Earth-Parachute Band-All The Earth
28.Worship Forevermore-Planetshakers-Phenomena
29.Run Into Your Arms-Plantethakers-Phenomena
30.Could I Ever-Planetshakers-Rain Down
31.Amazing Grace-Planetshakers-Reflector
32.Weight Of The World-Planetshakers-Always And Forever
33.Evermore-Planetshakers-Evermore
34.So In Love With You-Planetshakers-Never Stop
35.You Are Holy-Planetshakers-Open Up The Gates
36.Praise You-Planetshakers-Saviour Of The World
37.Here I Am To Worship-Hillsong-Ultimate Worship
38.All The Heavens-Hillsong-Ultimate Worship
39.Worthy Is The Lamb-Hillsong-Ultimate Worship
40.Shout To The Lord-Hillsong-Ultimate Worship
41.My God-Hillsong United-To The Ends Of The Earth
42.To The Ends Of The Earth-Hillsong United-To The Ends Of The Earth
43.On My Cross-Far From Home
44.Testify To Love-Avalon-The Very Best Of Avalon
45.Joy To The World(Newer Version)-Unknown Band-ask me for the version
46.Awesome Is The Lord Most High-Chris Tomlin-See The Morning
47.In The Light-Dc Talk-Jesus Freak
48.Stronger-Hillsong United-This Is Our God
49.Lift Up Your Eyes-Planetshakers-Reflector
50.Secret Place-Planetshakers-Pick It Up

All Day Party

hehe..just re-started my semester yesterday..went to ADP from Foundation in HMC....I have to say my 1st day of ADP is INFINITELY better than my 1st day in HMC....lol...made some friends...got 2 really really funny and really really strict lecturers...seriously...could tell from the 1st class that they were gonna be awesome lecturers d...especially the General Psychology 1...lol...she made soo many sarcastic comments in the first class alone...and God has been amazingly faithful...He answered all my prayers....even the little little ones that I didn't think much of....for example..on my 1st day..I went for lunch...ordered my food and realised that my class starts in 1/2 an hour's time...really worried that I'll be late for my class...and I didnt wanna be late for the first day of classes...so I seriously considered going to the counter and cancelling my order...but I didnt dare..coz I could imagine the cashier's cold stare at me...haha....so I prayed that my food would come quickly...and I stopped looking in the direction of the kitchen and concentrated on my handphone games instead...barely 5 minutes later my food came...was sooo surprised...coz the restaurant was packed....really packed..and the last time I was there...the restaurant was barely even half full and my food took ages to come...was super surprised and happy...another example was today..had to take a cabby from the LRT station home coz I had no transport home...the sky looked dark and I was hoping I could get home before it started raining..so I prayed again...and not long after I got into the house it started pouring....haha...really thank God....for being so faithful even in such small matters....oh oh...and I met a few new friends...awesome people..I thought that these ADP guys were a quiet bunch...today we all laughed like crazy in En101 class....and a few other girls as well that I got to talk to....haha...super awesome experience..and its only the second day....for those of you who dont know what ADP stands for..it stands for All Day Party...lol....and Im really having fun there...haha...

Thank You God for giving me a really really good start to a new semester and course...and for being ever so faithful even in answering these small prayers of mine....Thank You

oh yea...and Congratulations Lynette for passing your driving test!!!hehe....got car d must drive me around k? :)

Glory,Glory Man United!!!

haha....yeah...Manchester united clinched their 18th Premier League title yesterday...equaling Liverpool's record at last....weee!!!!hehe...so happy now....just hope they will also win the UEFA Champions League against Barcelona later on...have faith....was great to finally see them win after working so hard the entire season..they played really well and deserved to win...to all Liverpool fans, dream on...your 19th title will never come anytime soon...to all Chelsea fans, sorry mates...but thats the way REAL football is played..where the TRUE CHAMPIONS win.....to all Arsenal fans...I guess your "arsenal" is short of ammo...maybe in the next 10 years or so eh?dont give up...hehehehehehe....


GLORY GLORY MAN UNITED!!!!!

The Child

There was once a child...a toddling little baby..one day the child achieved a new phase of his life..he learned to walk...he was overjoyed...and his friends and family shared in his happiness...he enjoyed his new skill and honed it everyday...enjoying himself immensely...until he falls down and hurts himself...his parents stare at him...encouraging him to get up and try again..although shaken, he finds the strength in depth to pick himself off the ground and resume walking...he takes a first step, he takes the second...and just when he begins to regain his confidence...while he is still on wobbly legs, someone comes and pushes him from behind...the child falls to the floor once again, only this time, he is hurt much worse...his confidence takes another rude shake...he fears the worst is yet to come...his parents continue to encourage him, to tell him its okay to fall down...however, he cannot find it in himself to restore his confidence..he sits on the floor...afraid to get up, content to go back to crawling....none can blame him, for while he was still on wobbly feet, barely able to put the first fall behind him, he falls again, and the consequences are much harsher...what is the child to do?ever since his birth he has been told that true champions fall, but they pick themselves up and push on, despite the odds and circumstances...does he have it in him to be a true champion?

Driving me up the wall....

Guess what? I had ANOTHER accident today....might as well hang a sign round my neck saying Please Knock Me...a taxi crashed into the back of my car...lucky for me...my car was only dented...a lil bit...but that guy's taxi didn't fare so well....his car bonnet didn't really resemble a bonnet anymore....really thank God nothing serious happened to my car or anyone....I seriously have no idea how come my car got away with it with such minor damage..seriously...divine intervention..coz when u see his car..its like...totally damaged in the front...sigh...took another shaking....and I'm really freaking now...don't wanna drive anymore..its loads of fun..but I seem to be a magnet for accidents....sigh....I could have gotten away with it if I lodged a police report..after all..according to road laws he was in the wrong for knocking into me..but I guess in an accident both parties are wrong..so we settled for Rm250 to him...and I am so sorry to my parents yet again..wonder how they must be feeling...surely very dissapointed...sigh..I just cant seem to do anything right nowadays can I?everything that could go bad has gone bad..and I feel so lost and homeless now...even though I am living in a house....sigh...been praying...kinda like...bounces of the ceiling and back to me...nothings happening...I dont know what to do...sigh....

Take me to that place Lord,
Where there's nothing else but me and You,
Longing for Your presence,
I know that You're calling me to You.

Indeed...take me to that place Lord....take me somewhere...anywhere...I feel so lost and confused...Jesus won't You guide my way...

Empty Pockets

Aahhh...the book I've been waiting for is finally in Malaysia....as usual..Kinokuniya has it..they're always the earliest book store...I cant get it....at least not yet.....No its not the transport there and its not that I dont know where Kinokuniya is...its the cost of the book..as usual as well..Kinokuniya puts rocket prices on their books...its Rm101.90....NOOOOOOO........and I've been waiting for it since last year....well..needless to say..my wallet and pockets are empty ever since the last debacle with the car....sigh...guess I'm just gonna have to wait til some other bookstore has it with a more....economical price....just in case you're wondering..the book is entitled Arthas:Rise of the Lich King...its a fantasy type read..hehe...my type la...supposed to be THE book...coz its about an infamous character in the series...and everyone was waiting for it for ages....now that its out..I still cant get to read it...2 choices....

1.
I wait til MPH or some other book store has it...(which will take ages) and then buy it for a lower price.

2.
I break into kinokuniya at night,steal a copy of the book, and set the bookstore on fire to cover my tracks...

Seeing the current situation..I might very well go for choice number 2...haha..yeah..I'm, that desperate for it....I need something new to read..all my older books are well....old.....I practically read it so many times that when I open to a page I already know what I'm gonna read...all I need to do is read a line from the page and I know the EXACT words coming next..yes...I've read it THAT many times.....haha...well..there is a third option...Could some kind soul opt to buy it for me? I shall be ever so grateful.. ;)

P.S: that's a hint for "Please please please please buy it for me!!!!!!"

Another P.S: just kidding :)

Disney

Recently been watching disney channel movies on youtube..those really really old ones like Mulan and such...and it brought back so many memories...haha..all happy and funny ones...all those funny lines in the show...but apart from that..I realised that these old movies had really nice meaningful songs, and also taught the kids watching it a lesson..unlike those movies produced now that has everything to do with fighting and stuff..and is not at all educational...haha..so these are a few of the songs and lines I got from these old movies..quite sensible and really teaches us something...will be updating this as I watch more and more of these old movies..hehe


1.Mulan-Reflection
A really good song from one of those old movies, that shows a person accepting his/her ture character and not conformign to the image of what others like her family and society thinks she/he has to be.

2.Dinosaur
Some things start out big, and some things start out small.Very small.But sometimes the smallest thing can make the biggest changes of all.

None of us really know what changes, big or small, lie ahead. One thing is certain, our journey is not over. We can only hope that in some small way, our time here will be remembered

Money Talks...It says Good-bye

The repair estimate for the car is around Rm500...sigh...there goes even more money...The amount of money leaving me this month has been...astronomical when I calculate it...some of it for reasons I'll never regret..some.....just due to plain careless-ness....sigh...and its all coming at one of the worst possible time...when I'm saving up for a laptop...I almost had enough....ALMOST...but I guess ALMOST never got anyone anywhere...sigh...car repair bill totally set me back a few months at least...and who's to say that I won't have to spend anymore money in the next few months...some of my friends were grumbling that I didn't give them a birthday present when I gave my other friends theirs...sorry guys...didn't mean it....feel a lil guilty about that...

Went for Mother's Day dinner today...at The Ship..its like the usual family dinner location..but haven't been there in a while...had a nice meal...and while we were in the car waiting for a woman to walk past the road so we could get out of the parking lot, something happened...the woman refused to move..she was a little nervous to pass the road..coz she was holding a younger girl nect to her and a baby in her other arm...my mum told me to get down the car and help her cross..I didn't want o in truth...I was busy thinking of how I'm gonna afford paying for the car..as well as other expenses...but I did it anyway..Went down and asked the lady if she needed help...and told her to follow me..led her across the road and she said she could cross the other part herself....when I went back to the car I felt happy...I guess sometimes doing a good deed to others is also a form of making your own day a little brighter....and I showed some Malaysian hospitality to a foreigner..haha....Malaysia Boleh...indeed....

God, I need some help...As You fed the five thousand with only 5 loaves and 2 fish, I know You can do something for me, whether by financial aid or something else just to make my life a lil brighter...Thank You....

Sigh-ing yet again

I had my first minor accident today...actually..I had TWO of minor accidents today...although the first one wasn't entirely my fault...I was driving past the car when it reversed out and knocked into me...although I guess I should have let the person pass through first...it wouldn't have cost me anything..and my car wouldn't have been scratched...the second one was totally my fault...I went too close to the Wira and scratched its side while parking...I couldn't estimate the distance as it was night..but I guess I was also very careless....when I felt it scratch my blood ran cold...after parking I got out of the car and surveyed the damage...my car was more severely damaged but his wasn't in too good condition either...the paint had come off and a side of the bumper as well...was naturally worried...so I went into the mall with my friends...and I was praying and asking for forgiveness...coz I didn't know what to do..the owner of the car wasn't there...My friends told me it was alright...but the guilt just wouldn't go away...it just didn't...so in the end I went back down to my car..and my friends accompanied me..I stuffed an Rm50 note into the top of the person's door...I really really hope it at least covers some of the damage..and that the person won't be too upset...my friends were curious as to why I was so concerned and felt so guilty...I don't have a direct answer for them...but I knew that if I didn't do something..I wouldn't be able to sleep peacefully tonight...and I would always feel guilty when I recall the incident...I still feel guilty now...sigh...and worried....worried that my next accident might not be too far away...this time it was a vehicle..what if its a life next time...I guess I just need more experience and I have to be more careful on the road...I guess I was right to make my vow never to fetch anyone around til I was more experienced...but I guess that I was overcome by arrogance when I started driving..I considered going back on my vow..after all..I could drive pretty well...not today....today, my driving was horrendous...to say the least....really had a real shaking to the core today..even though it was only two minor incidents....but minor ones if not handled properly can develop into bigger ones....I guess I was right to make my vow after all...and I don't think I'll ever consider going back on it again...I have to pay for the repairs for my own car as well...I owe that much to my parents...I will not let them pay for my careless-ness...and I'm sure they won't either...got another raking over hot coals for that....and those coals won't cool down until a few days later...and even then...maybe I won't be allowed to drive...for a period of time at least...anyway..I have myself to blame....I should have been more careful...sigh...the repair bill for the car will be pricy...more money lost due to my own careless-ness...today was a bad start...had a minor accident..and I ended the day with another minor accident...what a day...been very disappointing for me....wallet's gone empty once again....

God, I'm sorry for being so careless...particularly with a responsibility as large as a car...forgive me for hurting people,help me to be more careful next time when I'm on the road, and to take things seriously...I'm sorry God...I'm really sorry....

One bright spot about today is that its Miss Ellen's birthday...I hope she's had a fine day....Happy Birthday Miss Ellen...

Woooo.....Friggin Tired legs....

I went to 1Utama again today..that's the 2nd time in less than a week..which is rare for me..since the last time i went to 1U was like...a few years back..haha..I finally know my way around that mall....not as lost as I was the first time round...so...went there to get a prezzie for my friend/teacher Miss Ellen....haha..its her berfday tomorrow!!! Its sooooo exciting...... :) heh..so, anyways...went there with 2 friends..Manda and Lynn....was super awesome of them to accompany me in the present hunt....went there at around 10..and walked around aimlessly with Lynn til Manda arrived VERY MUCH LATER....=P went she arrived we went to Carl's Jr for lunch...yum....I seriously CANNOT handle a Carl's Jr burger neatly...it resembled nothing less than an explosion in my hands...haha..was soooo messy...so after that we decided to catch a movie...bought tickets for the show He's Just Not That Into You....I was thinking...girl-ish movie...haha...it turned out be better than expected....since it wasn't time for the movie to start we went walking around the mall...the girls once again shopping and trying on random stuff...while I just tagged along...haha...pretty soon even I got influenced...and was looking at girl's clothes...I KNOW....WEIRD.....haha...the movie was awesome..LOL....I KNOW...ITS WEIRD ALSO.....but seriously..it was nice....I was expecting some girly romance story..turned out to be funny and somewhat educational...haha....I guess we guys are just so used to being stereotypes..especially with movies and novels with a girl-ish name...after the movie we went for a choc brownie...that we didn't get to try the last time we were there...waa...was delicious wei...just that the chocolate was a bit too much..if u ate it urself sure feel jelak...not to mention sore throat....managed to buy a present for my friend....haha..and a card...on which both Manda and Lynn wrote funny/mean comments...hehehehehehehe...I plan to write one too...later....after a whole day walking around a mall...finally decided to head for home....took a cabby to LRT station..and Lynn and Manda's parents picked them up from there...wow...on the second leg of my journey home..the train was full..so had to stand up thru the entire journey..not that it would have mattered much..but was seriously tired by that time..i slept at 5+ watching Chelsea and Barcelona....and woke at 7.30 or close to there....so super tired and sleepy....finally home now...and blogging...and my legs are fweaking tired.....feel like they gonna drop off soon...coz of the train journey I guess....still..good excercise tho....today was eventful...fun,tiring,funny...and I got to spend time with two of my friends...haha..that really made my day...otherwise sure feel bored at home..thank you God....for giving us the chance to just hang out and have fun...and for bringing us all home safely....

Nooooooo.....Barcelona beat Chelsea at the semi-finals of the UEFA Champions League!!!!Now Manchester United have to face them instead!!!!!!Please please please please.....win the UEFA....go MAN UTD!!!!!!!

C.A.F.F.E.I.N.E

Crazy
Astronomically
Fulfilling
Fantastic
Energy
Inducing
Neurological
Essence

Yes people!!!!Caffeine is one of THE greatest natural gifts of God to mankind!!!!!haha...on this special entry, I shall endeavour to sing praises of the world's best drug!!!.and what better way to enjoy the AWESOME-NESS of CAFFEINE than in an AWESOME CUP OF COFFEE!!!preferably starbucks :) or tea...whichever way you have it..haha...this entry is sooo random...but seriously people..how can you NOT love caffeine..its like the greatest discovery since the wheel or something....as you can see....caffeine is actually a short form for its true meaning...so enjoy people....embrace caffeine....

P.S: this is sooo ironic..as im totally immune to the effects of caffeine....hehehehehe

Dear God....

God,Thank you for Your mercy,
For always forgiving me,
Removing my sins and iniquity,
To make me the best that I can be,

Lead me Lord in Your Holy ways,
To shine Your glory for all my days,
Help me Lord to go Your way,
Help me not to go astray,

Be the Light that brightens my life,
Through troubles, trials and all kinds of strife,
Show me Jesus that You're always there,
To hear my cries, my pain to bear,

Grant me strength,
To go the extra mile,
No matter the length,
And to do it with a smile,

Grant me Love Lord, as great as the sea,
Grant me Patience and Honesty,
Grant me Compassion and Humility,
Grant me Lord, Serenity

Boar-dem

I wanna go somewhere...people..please ajak me keluar la..haha..sound so LOA....I wanna go out la!!!!!!!!!!staying at home for 2 weeks is NOT fun okay...and I got 2 weeks to go!!!!goodness.....seriously..gonna like...rot by the time my holidays are over....please...some1 be kind and ajak me keluar..anywhere and everywhere...I drive...hehe......please bring along ur safety helmet and padded clothing...and make sure you're insured...I can't afford to repay your parents...hehehehehehehe....CALL ME OUT!!!!especially people I haven't seen in like AGES.....yes JASMINE....i'm hinting bout you....=P

A Tribute to Friends

Your love,covers my sin,
and washes over me,
Your Grace, it draws me in,
So I can live for You,

Jesus You died for me,
So I will live, for You, My God,

And I will lay down my life,
For the cause, of the Cross,
And I won't try to ignore,
That Your heart's cry is the lost

And I will go if You say go,
I will never give it up,
I will lay down my life,
Because You laid down Your life,
To set me free

Your love washes over,
Over,
Over and Over

This morning was one of the lowest moments of my life, when i confronted myself, and all the hurts and pain deep within me finally surfaced, kept hidden for so long but finally laid out bare.Realising that for all the smiles and laughter, deep down inside is actually a person crying out for rest, crying out for comfort. I never thought to share it with anyone, it was a secret I thought nobody would ever know..except for me and God. My fears, my hatred towards myself, I cannot begin to explain what it actually means to me. Really broke down and cried, when I relived all my past memories, all the words said, all the things done. Finally realised that I had never let it go, that I was holding it all in, covering it up with my own thoughts. I realise now how wrong I was, whether in my efforts to help people or to help myself, and that I had the wrong perception of things all along. My friends were partially correct in that I was wrong in the way I tried to help them, not realising that they never asked for it. And I finally confronted the fact that I was also in denial, living on the fact that I should continue to help regardless of what they thought, because they needed help. They needed help, but not from me, it was from God, it has always been from God, and I was arrogant and wrong to ever think that I could be that source of help for them. Realised how incapable I thought I was, and how incapable I really am, but none of it matters, at least not anymore.Incapable I may be, but my God is. I just have to really learn how to avail myself to Him. I really want to help my friends around me, but I cannot, because I don't know how. Only God knows, and only He can use me to help if He so chooses. So I pray and hope that God will teach me humility, to use my passion for friends in a way that will reflect His glory, and that I will learn that to truly care for my friends is not to impose on them the way I think is right, but to love and support them through prayer, and to just be there for them. I was wrong to base on my own strength, to want to be the one that my friends could lean on, when all along I myself had no strength to stand up straight, and had no one to lean on, because nobody understood how I feel at that time. Now I know, I know that I was never alone, I always knew God was there, but I never truly believed it. I do now, and I know that I can always draw on His strength, and the strength of those around me, those who truly care for me, who truly accepted me, even when I never truly accepted myself.

For as long as I shall live,
I will testify to love,
I'll be the witness in the silences when words are not enough,
With every breath I take,
I will give thanks to God above,
For as long as I shall live,
I will testify

I really thank God for two of my friends last night, who were people I never thought I would be so honest with. They were the ones that made me realise that while I was wrong in the way that i chose to help at times, I was also wrong in the assumption that nobody cared. There's nothing more I can say to describe what they did for me than to say that they were there for me when I most needed someone to talk to. And I cannot thank them enough for it. What I have done to deserve such friends, I cannot begin to understand. Perhaps it was for such a time as this, that they were there at the right place and the right time, to show me God's love. I owe them so much, I do not think I will ever be able to repay. I can only pray that God will continue to bless our friendship, one that I know I will treasure for the rest of my life. Amanda and Lynette, thank you. To all my other friends, I am sorry if I ever caused you problems when I tried to help, believe that it was for the best intentions, though I did it spectacularly badly. And I also pray for our friendship, that God will continue to give me the priviledge to be called your friend. I am sorry if this post sounds as if I'm only thankful for Manda and Lynn, but trust that it is not. Its just that they were at the right place at the right time, but I really want you all to know that I love you all very much, and will always try to be there for you, no matter what the cost. Im sorry if I ever did it the wrong way, and I promise to change, if I am given the chance.I may never be the best, but I will try to be the friend that Jesus is to me, never judging, never criticizing, and always caring. I pray that in this cause, I will be capable. Thank you God for giving me such friends, and thank you my friends, without whom my life would never be what it is today.

P.S Amanda and Lynette..sorry if i made u guys feel awkward..may have said too much to both of u..please don't feel awkward k? so sry >.<

Happy 18th Birthday Lynette!!!

hehe...yeah...its my dear friend Lynette Tan's birthday today...so I shall dedicate the first half of my blog to her...hehe...wweeellll, she's goin for her finals of the first semester very soon..so she couldnt really celebrate her birthday this year...awww...how sad....so her mum made her a deal..she would take her outfor a shopping spree today...and that was the end of that....or so she thought....little did she know of what her AWESOME friends had in store for her.....ngehehehe...

so...it was mainly Amanda's idea...She,Esther,Nicole,Joshua and me went out to 1utama to "bump" into her "accidentally"...was supposed to be a surprise for her...well..went there kinda early..looked around for a present for her..coz Amanda hadn't gotten her one yet...bought a pair of sunglasses..super cool 1..thanks to Amanda Nicole and myself for excellent taste...=P...then at 3 we surprised her..haha..waited so long for the moment to come...Esther,Nicole and myself were stuffed up in the oh-so-hot top floor while waiting for Amanda and Joshua to bring her up....we totally surprised her..haha...I went right beside her and just said hello into her ear...and she screamed freaking loudly...lol....and she was on the phone with her friend at that time..pity her poor friend's ears..must have been ringing...haha...was hilarious...so then..gave her the awesome gifts..(so bahagia..got so many in one day) then we went for makan...yumm....well..not really..haha...the first place we went to wouldn't serve us..apparently they were full and we waited like...dunno how long...finally decided to leave and instead went to Wong Kok Char Chan Teng...as Lynette herself so "eloquently" pronounced it...hehe...had some food..and a HUGE cup of milk tea..seriously HUGE....get Lynette to upload pictures of it if you don't believe me...haha...then Amanda had to go...awww....so the rest of us went shopping..well..the girls went..the guys just tagged along...haha...walked for dunno how many donkey hours...haha..maybe not that long...then Esther had to go as well...after sending her off we countinued walking....and walking...and walking...and walking...and walking...and...well u get the point =)...after we were done we finally headed for home...was an awesome day...I think particularly for Lynette...she was probably just expecting a lil surprise from her mum or something...she forgot to take into account the presence of her AWESOME friends (us)..haha..bangganya.....weee......anyway...Happy Birthday Lynette...as you continue to live for God I pray that He will bless you in all that you do...really thankful that you were born on this day..or I wouldn't have made such a great friend....Continue to grow okay..both in age..(well..naturally) and in maturity..with God and in God...and dont worry...Im sure you will do really really great in your finals..dont be too stressed okays....once again...Happy 18th Birthday Dearest Lynette!!!

okay..that's the first part..the second part is not so fun..lol..while in the mall..waiting for Lynette...I saw a lot of stuff I dont like...lol....PDA-ing...lots and lots and lots of PDA-ing....eeewwww...for those of you who just dont know what PDA means..its Public Display of Affection...put simply..it's what couples do in public that NOBODY ELSE is interested in seeing....haha...well...sadly..such is the trend nowadays..guess people are just so full of "love"...lol....creepy...seriously..dont they feel embarassed when they do it in front of other people....I really hope I NEVER EVER find myself in that situation...and I pray that my friends around me will be spared from such a scene as well...we are all vessels of Christ...and it is our responsibility to uphold that standard with honour in our actions....easy to say...hard to do..pray that God will continue to preserve His children..=)...tired...whole day of walking around in a mall...been a wonderful day..except for the not so wonderful parts...haha....Thank you God for today..and for Lynette....nites...