Recently..I realised that there's been a lot of people asking me how I've been...and wanting to know me better and get closer to me....I really appreciate it at times....their concern shows that there are people out there who care enough to ask....and sometimes the people I care about most don't bother to ask...which can be discouraging....sometimes......and I guess that it's an answer to my prayers at times to have people to pour out to...but strangely....I find that I just can't....I can talk to them bout some issues...but I cannot just pour out the exact words in my heart to any1....despite their efforts to show concern and care for me...I guess its one of two things...
1. I don't really trust anyone and I don't really want to develop a close relationship with any1 right now....besides the few people that I already care about a lot...there's a psychological term to it but it slipped my mind for now...
2. I don't really trust people as much as I do anymore...I can tell them certain issues like why I'm stressed and all..but as to the exact condition..only God will ever know...I guess it could be due to past experiences...
In a way sometimes I feel guilty for being aloof all the time...so I try to tell them a bit of my problems...but then again I'm just trying to show them I appreciate their efforts...and its not really bout me wanting to share already....sigh....I don't know why either...I guess I just am like that....will need to deal with it someday....
Friday, July 30, 2010
Monday, July 26, 2010
Saturate me,
Call me deeper,
Take me past the walls,
You're all I need.
Pour out Your spirit on me,
Drown me in Your love,
That surpasses all that I can muster,
That smothers all my emotions,
I'm waiting here,
Longing for more,
Let Your power come,
Let it fill me in the inside,
And flow out,
Take my heart and all I am,
I am here Lord,
Send me,
I will go.
Call me deeper,
Take me past the walls,
You're all I need.
Pour out Your spirit on me,
Drown me in Your love,
That surpasses all that I can muster,
That smothers all my emotions,
I'm waiting here,
Longing for more,
Let Your power come,
Let it fill me in the inside,
And flow out,
Take my heart and all I am,
I am here Lord,
Send me,
I will go.
Monday, July 19, 2010
Of Letting Go
What must I do?
What do I say?
What can take this pain away?
Look through these walls,
These barriers of time,
See the joy and the smiles,
And the pain that's left behind,
Remembering the moments,
The heated flashes and temperaments,
The laughter and the fun,
Under the rays of a shining sun,
Words cannot express,
Actions cannot deny,
Yet I continue to press,
Continue will I to defy,
I want to let go,
Of this I know,
I will let go,
I will let go,
There are others around,
Who deserve more from me,
People who always surround,
Even when troubles abound,
They accompany me.
Give yourself a chance,
Open up your heart,
There are people there,
There are people waiting,
Time passes by,
Never thought I'd wind up,
One step behind,
Now I've made my mind up,
Today I'm gonna try a lil harder,
Gonna make every minute last longer,
Gonna learn to forgive and forget,
Coz we don't have long, gonna make the most of it,
Today I'm gonna love my enemies,
Reach out to somebody who needs me,
Make a change, Make the world a better place,
Coz tomorrow could be one day too late,
One day too late.
Italics from One Day Too Late by Skillet
What do I say?
What can take this pain away?
Look through these walls,
These barriers of time,
See the joy and the smiles,
And the pain that's left behind,
Remembering the moments,
The heated flashes and temperaments,
The laughter and the fun,
Under the rays of a shining sun,
Words cannot express,
Actions cannot deny,
Yet I continue to press,
Continue will I to defy,
I want to let go,
Of this I know,
I will let go,
I will let go,
There are others around,
Who deserve more from me,
People who always surround,
Even when troubles abound,
They accompany me.
Give yourself a chance,
Open up your heart,
There are people there,
There are people waiting,
Time passes by,
Never thought I'd wind up,
One step behind,
Now I've made my mind up,
Today I'm gonna try a lil harder,
Gonna make every minute last longer,
Gonna learn to forgive and forget,
Coz we don't have long, gonna make the most of it,
Today I'm gonna love my enemies,
Reach out to somebody who needs me,
Make a change, Make the world a better place,
Coz tomorrow could be one day too late,
One day too late.
Live your life to its fullest.
Express yourself the way you know best.
Time to be free and to do what you want.
Give to those who have been there for you all this while.
Only then will it be fair to yourself and to them.
Express yourself the way you know best.
Time to be free and to do what you want.
Give to those who have been there for you all this while.
Only then will it be fair to yourself and to them.
Italics from One Day Too Late by Skillet
Friday, July 16, 2010
My soul finds rest in God alone,
my salvation comes from Him,
He alone is my Rock and my salvation,
He is my fortress, I will never be shaken,
How long will you assault a man?
Would all of you throw him down-
this leaning wall, this tottering fence?
They fully intend to topple him
from his lofty place;
they delight in lies.
With their mouths they bless,
but in their hearts they curse.
Find rest, O my soul, in God alone;
my hope comes from Him.
He alone is my Rock and my salvation;
He is my fortress, I will not be shaken.
He is my mighty rock, my refuge.
Trust in Him at all times, O people;
pour out your hearts to Him,
for God is our refuge.
my salvation comes from Him,
He alone is my Rock and my salvation,
He is my fortress, I will never be shaken,
How long will you assault a man?
Would all of you throw him down-
this leaning wall, this tottering fence?
They fully intend to topple him
from his lofty place;
they delight in lies.
With their mouths they bless,
but in their hearts they curse.
Find rest, O my soul, in God alone;
my hope comes from Him.
He alone is my Rock and my salvation;
He is my fortress, I will not be shaken.
My salvation and honor depend on God,
He is my mighty rock, my refuge.
Trust in Him at all times, O people;
pour out your hearts to Him,
for God is our refuge.
Psalms 62:1-8
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Victor wants to....
Go to South Africa.
Bungee jump-With or without the rope.
Sky-dive.
Climb a mountain.
Look at the sunrise from atop said mountain.
Shout from atop said mountain.
Look at the sunset before descending said mountain.
White-water raft.
Go to a wilderness with nothing but a backpack for a few days.
Run down a hill.
Observe the stars.
Shout loud and long.
Bungee jump-With or without the rope.
Sky-dive.
Climb a mountain.
Look at the sunrise from atop said mountain.
Shout from atop said mountain.
Look at the sunset before descending said mountain.
White-water raft.
Go to a wilderness with nothing but a backpack for a few days.
Run down a hill.
Observe the stars.
Shout loud and long.
Because he's finally free. From exams. From holdiing on. From obligations. From duties. From emotions-certain ones. And he's never felt better for it.
Bring it on world!
I await!
I await!
Monday, July 12, 2010
Hidden Deep Within
Deep in the depths,
Roiling and raging,
Only ever occasionally,
Reduced to a simmering,
It is never still,
Never calm,
Never to be until,
Exposed to that healing balm,
Will you never know?
Can you not hear?
Can you not feel the surge of emotions,
Everytime you draw near?
I once thought that it would all change,
That the difference would be made,
Through care and love exchange,
Such hubris in the face of my results,
Is laughable at best,
I've tried my best,
I've failed that test,
I see it now, the twists and turns,
Of fate and folly, knowing their wonts,
I've been a fool, to turn from the One,
To base my joy on another other than the Son,
And yet human am I,
And still I sigh,
For the "could have beens",
And the chances nigh,
Time draws close,
It races near,
It knows no delay,
And fills me with fear,
The time will come,
When you will be gone,
Yet nothing I can do,
Than wait for it to be done,
Away with these feelings,
They serve me no cause,
Away with these hurts,
And the smiles of force,
I will wait once again,
In quietness and trust,
Knowing my Creator has His plans and thus,
Relieved I will be, within His embrace,
Knowing I am free, in the presence of His Grace,
Free from hurts and free from pain,
Free from stress and a heartful of strain,
Free from desiring anything else,
Free in the knowledge that my needs He quells,
He knows me like none other,
He knows me for He is my Father,
He leads me to paths better,
He leads me through calm pasture,
A prayer I will offer, for that person beyond,
For guidance and blessings, and in safety be borne,
For happiness and joy through the rest of all days,
For tenderness and love, to keep apace,
Though it comes not from my heart as its place.
Roiling and raging,
Only ever occasionally,
Reduced to a simmering,
It is never still,
Never calm,
Never to be until,
Exposed to that healing balm,
Will you never know?
Can you not hear?
Can you not feel the surge of emotions,
Everytime you draw near?
I once thought that it would all change,
That the difference would be made,
Through care and love exchange,
Such hubris in the face of my results,
Is laughable at best,
I've tried my best,
I've failed that test,
I see it now, the twists and turns,
Of fate and folly, knowing their wonts,
I've been a fool, to turn from the One,
To base my joy on another other than the Son,
And yet human am I,
And still I sigh,
For the "could have beens",
And the chances nigh,
Time draws close,
It races near,
It knows no delay,
And fills me with fear,
The time will come,
When you will be gone,
Yet nothing I can do,
Than wait for it to be done,
Away with these feelings,
They serve me no cause,
Away with these hurts,
And the smiles of force,
I will wait once again,
In quietness and trust,
Knowing my Creator has His plans and thus,
Relieved I will be, within His embrace,
Knowing I am free, in the presence of His Grace,
Free from hurts and free from pain,
Free from stress and a heartful of strain,
Free from desiring anything else,
Free in the knowledge that my needs He quells,
He knows me like none other,
He knows me for He is my Father,
He leads me to paths better,
He leads me through calm pasture,
A prayer I will offer, for that person beyond,
For guidance and blessings, and in safety be borne,
For happiness and joy through the rest of all days,
For tenderness and love, to keep apace,
Though it comes not from my heart as its place.
Composed:Eminence
To: A friend indeed
To: A friend indeed
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