Recently..I realised that there's been a lot of people asking me how I've been...and wanting to know me better and get closer to me....I really appreciate it at times....their concern shows that there are people out there who care enough to ask....and sometimes the people I care about most don't bother to ask...which can be discouraging....sometimes......and I guess that it's an answer to my prayers at times to have people to pour out to...but strangely....I find that I just can't....I can talk to them bout some issues...but I cannot just pour out the exact words in my heart to any1....despite their efforts to show concern and care for me...I guess its one of two things...
1. I don't really trust anyone and I don't really want to develop a close relationship with any1 right now....besides the few people that I already care about a lot...there's a psychological term to it but it slipped my mind for now...
2. I don't really trust people as much as I do anymore...I can tell them certain issues like why I'm stressed and all..but as to the exact condition..only God will ever know...I guess it could be due to past experiences...
In a way sometimes I feel guilty for being aloof all the time...so I try to tell them a bit of my problems...but then again I'm just trying to show them I appreciate their efforts...and its not really bout me wanting to share already....sigh....I don't know why either...I guess I just am like that....will need to deal with it someday....
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